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A Guide To Modern Conversion

December 7th, 2006 by Kevin

Funny, I\’ve been told that the US has become a theocracy, but clearly we have a long way to go because I\’ve never heard of \”BushCo\’s brownshirts\” doing this….

A Moroccan court jailed a German tourist for six months for attempting to convert Muslims in the southern resort of Agadir, officials said on Wednesday.

The court in Agadir, Morocco\’s main tourist destination, found the 64-year-old man guilty of trying to \”shake the faith of a Muslim,\” they added.

\”They can jail you for that??\” a reasonable person might ask. Well, yes they can…

Under Moroccan law \”anyone who employs incitements to shake the faith of a Muslim or to convert him to another religion\” can be jailed for up to six months and fined.

Heh, it\’s hard to get too upset, I mean the jailed German was really being naive. I mean passing out Christian literature to youth?? That\’s sooooo 20th century. Get with the times man. Islam has already repeatedly demonstrated the modern internationally accepted way to convert people to your religion.

In the future if you wish to avoid prosecution, please follow the UN-accepted guidelines listed below:

1) Kidnap the person you are trying to convert
2) Hold them at ransom for weeks
3) Force them to record a videotape listing the virtues of your religion
4) Hold a big knife to their throat and threaten to cut their head off if they don\’t convert.
5) Videotape their acceptance of your new religion, and for good measure make them criticize their home country.

NOTE : For step 6 there are wildly varying beliefs on the best way to continue. For sake of completeness I offer both.

6a) Release them into the world after payment of the ransom
6b) Cut off their head and dump their body in the street

7) Then release the videotapes showing their conversion (and beheading if applicable) to your local terrorist-friendly media organization (Al-Jazeera or the New York Times both come highly recommended).

I think you\’ll find that this method, while probably not the most efficient (what with the killing and all), is freely excepted by liberal-thinking peoples the world over. The best part of this approach is it comes with ready-made rebuttals if anyone criticizes your methods. You simply claim they (the infidels) are not being tolerant of your religion, indeed they are \”racists\” and \”zionists\” and \”dumb dumb poopy heads\”. If asked to justify your methods, simply turn the argument on them. Point out violent transgressions (or just make some up!) in their culture\’s past no matter how far they\’ve advanced beyond them or how adamantly they renounce those methods today.

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Posted in Islamofacists | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. unclebenjamin Says:

    Call me a traditionalist if you will, but I prefer the old way of prosletyzing. Preach the message and if it resonates then someone will convert.