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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he\’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi, \”G\’day, mind if I talk to your dog?\”

Villager: \”The dog doesn\’t talk, you stupid Aussie.\”

Ventriloquist: \”Hello dog, how\’s it going mate?\”

Dog: \”Doin\’ all right.\”

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: \”Is this villager your owner?\” (pointing at the villager)

Dog: \”Yep\”

Ventriloquist: \”How does he treat you?\”

Dog: \”Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.\”

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: \”Mind if I talk to your horse?\”

Villager: \”Uh, the horse doesn\’t talk either…I think.\”

Ventriloquist: \”Hey horse, how\’s it going?\”

Horse: \”Cool\”

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: \”Is this your owner?\” (pointing at the villager)

Horse: \”Yep\”

Ventriloquist: \”How does he treat you?\”

Horse: \”Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.\”

Villager: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: \”Mind if I talk to your sheep?\”

Villager: (in a panic) \”The sheep\’s a liar.\”