EckerNet.Com

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 4th November

RE: Christmas Party

I m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along.

And don’t be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m.

Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.

This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 5th November

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our Holiday Party. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table…you didn\’t sign your name. I m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, \”AA Only,\” you wouldn\’t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I\’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. people I love are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with pleasantly upbeat men. Each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the pleasantly upbeat men’s table too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. And No, no blow-up sheep.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics. The restaurant cannot supply \”No Sugar\” desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F*ckin Employees

DATE: 8 November

RE: The F*ckin Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks I\’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the \”grill of death\”, as you so quaintly put it. You’ll get your f*ckin salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feeling, too. They scream when you slice them. I\’ve heard them scream. I’m f*ckin hearing them scream right NOW!!

Hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drink, drive and die!

The grumble and/or bemoan fate from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FROM: John Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: 9th November

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I\’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

I am awfully disappointed to see so many good conservatives fall all over themselves to be enraged over this, when in fact they should be supporting it.

On the sixth anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks, students at one high school were not allowed to wear clothes with an American flag.Under a new school rule, students at Hobbton High School are not allowed to wear items with flags, from any country, including the United States.

Both John Hawkins and Michelle Malkin, two conservatives I agree with 99% of the time, immediately jumped on this and decried the un-Americaness of this. Both harshly spat upon this school districts behavior as outrageous and beneath contempt. I even heard at least one conservative radio talkshow host do the same. Unfortunately I have to agree with the schools behavior, although they only got it right on accident….for the wrong reasons.

See, in an America long long ago, people actually used to respect the flag. They didn\’t burn it, they didn\’t let it touch the ground, they didn\’t use it for advertisement, and they didn\’t WEAR IT AS CLOTHING!!!

I really really wish some conservatives would get off their high horse long enough, to know of what they speak (or type). As a public service, I refer you to Title 4, United States Code, Chapter 1 : The Flag Code. It\’s right there in black and white people, how the flag should be treated, how it should be displayed and what shouldn\’t be done with it.

Heh, I\’ll even save you the trouble and quote the relevant text. From Section 8,

(d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker\’s desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general….

(g) The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.

…

(i) The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.

Basically to sum it all up, you\’re not supposed to wear the flag as clothing. And basically any representation of the stars&stripes is considered a flag. Clothing is temporary and is eventually discarded. It\’s all about respect for the flag and what it stands for. It\’s not supposed to be part of something that will be easily soiled or cast aside. It is supposed to be held high with dignity.

How many of you hold your T-Shirts in such high esteem??

I thought so.

So get down off your high horse, and admit it. The school had it right….for the wrong reasons. The kids shouldn\’t be wearing flags. Period. End of Discussion. It\’s not about LACK of patriotism (although I suspect that was their reason), but rather it\’s a reflection of patriotism that you hold your flag in high regard and are not going to demean it by making it a fashion statement.

Unfortunately, this is a statement upon today\’s culture. I absolutely cringe when I\’m at a July 4th parade and see them handing out the little plastic US flags. Not because they are handing out flags, but because I know most of them will be regarded as a toy, and more than likely dropped on the ground and trampled upon, shat upon by horses and eventually swept into a garbage bin. And usually I\’m correct.

Make sure the flag you are waving is patriotic, not hypocritical.

NOTE : Oh and because I heard one caller to the above mentioned talkshow cry about how then even something like a Boy Scout uniform is off limits, let me point something out.

(j) No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen, and members of patriotic organizations. The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing. Therefore, the lapel flag pin being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart.

Hope that clears that up. Once again, know that of what you speak.

[Cross Posted at True North] 

As much as kids scare the bejesus out of me, I think I\’m just as opposed to child abuse as the next person but seriously, you have got to be kidding me….

Now a father holding his childs hand should be considered a potential sign that he is a child molester?

Is there any other conclusion I\’m supposed to draw from that billboard?

There is a definitely line between responsible awareness and just outright paranoia. And that line is somewhere behind that billboard.

[Virginia Department of Health] officials are trying a new tactic. The latest push, at least in Hampton Roads, is to educate adults on how to spot – and stop – sexual offenders.

The \”Stop It Now \” campaign – just launched locally – will urge people to call a help line if they see an adult whom they suspect of having a sexual relationship with a child.

Billboards and posters show an adult hand holding a child\’s hand, with the words: \”It doesn\’t feel right when I see them together.\”

So presumably an (obviously male) adult holding a child\’s hand is apparently a reason to suspect that that adult is having a sexual relationship with that child?? Potentially ruin some innocent parents life with false child abuse allegations just because they held their kids hand?

Come on VHS, you aren\’t even trying are you? Surely you can come up with a better example of child abuse than a father helping his daughter safely cross the street??

Even worse is that if you go to the website listed on that billboard, one of the pictures scrolling on the top is a picture of a child embracing his mother, with the word \”Stop It Now!\” emblazoned across the top. So apparently even comforting a scared child is also child abuse?

So in Virginia, is any physical contact with a child appropriate anymore??

[H/T BNN]

For many people political correctness can be a confusing thing. After all, things that seem perfectly fine in one area, are suddenly the worst thing you could have possible done in another area. It takes a progressive mind to understand why right isn\’t always right, and in fact may sometimes be so wrong that you deserve jailtime. Confused yet?? Yeah, so is the rest of America. Let\’s go through some scenarios.

Scenario1:
Location : The United States
You are a protester and you are very mad at the United States. The usual placards, chants and protesting is not enough to show your outrage. You need to burn the US Flag, despite that fact that it will outrage many of the people observing this and will show disrespect for many of the people that died for that flag. Died for that flag so that you would have the right to make yourself look like an idiot by burning it.

In this situation, burning that flag is a time-tested and valuable freedom of speech. Any attempts to get you to not burn that flag is crushing of dissent and should be met with loud and apparently never ending claims that your freedom of speech is being violated! In fact the very fabric of a free society is being torn asunder! Don\’t back down!! By defending your right to burn the flag, you are serving as the last thin line of defense for democracy!! Anyone that attempts to claim otherwise is obviously a Nazi!!!

Scenario2:
Location : The United States
You are a protester and you are very mad at Mexico. The usual placards, chants and protesting is not enough to show your outrage. You need to burn the Mexican Flag, despite that fact that it will outrage many of the people observing this and will show disrespect for many of the people who follow it, despite the fact that they no longer live there and claim to love the US.

In this situation, you are wrong! In fact you are so wrong, that you should be held criminally liable. You should be charged with \”intimidation, unlawful assembly and disorderly conduct\”. But only after the police stand by and let the crowd of angry people around you assault you and damage your property. After all this is the United States, and there is no right to protest against other governments, only your own. You don\’t have the right to protest and should be pre-emptively silenced.

—

You see how the two situations are different??? You understand why in one you\’re allowed to burn a flag but in the other you are not?? You see how stopping you from burning that flag is violating your rights in one situation, but in the other to not stop you would be a violation of other people right to…..um, not be offended or something.

Got it?? Good, now you\’re starting to think like a progressive!!! Congrats

Come back next week for another episode of Political Correctness 101, when we\’ll explain why it\’s okay that we warn people that their lightbulbs have mercury tightly sealed in them, but not when we inject mercury into their arms.