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Fight The Bias!

October 9th, 2008 by Kevin

As you know, the voting for the new MOB mayor has begun. Already there is a clear MSM bias against my campaign. My position on the ballot is labeled as Kevie \”Lotion Boy\” Ecker. I\’ve never gone by such a nickname so this is clearly an attack on my candidacy.

The Kevin Ecker for MOB Mayor campaign has filed a complaint with the MOB Secretary of State (for life) and he offered up a half-assed excuse that Teh Andee Applecowskee must have hacked the poll. This is obviously a lie and only further demonstrates the MSM bias against me.

Help fight the fascists trying to steal the MOB election and cast a vote for me!

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Vote For Me!

October 7th, 2008 by Kevin

The election for MOB Mayor has begun….so do your patriotic duty and vote for me here. If you don\’t, the terrorists have won.

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Kevin For MOB Mayor

September 24th, 2008 by Kevin

Learned Foot, MOB Secretary of State (for life), has announced the beginning of the new campaign season to elect a new mayor of the MOB. So it\’s time to begin my annual campaign to be elected to the MOB. Typically my campaign strategy has consisted of threatening to shoot every other candidate. That hasn\’t worked so far….let\’s try bitter mud throwing:

King Bananaman (incumbent) – We had an economist as a mayor and the economy still went to hell. Time to boot him out and replace him with someone that can barely balance his checkbook.

Iron Matron – All she does is post naughty pictures….talents like that shouldn\’t be wasted as mayor.

JRoosh – He can\’t even run his own blog, he has to piggyback off someone else. Can he really run the MOB?? I think not.

Bobo – He\’s a monkey….which admittedly makes him more qualified than these other fools.

Teaparty – Do we really want a tea-sipping pansy as mayor?? The other MOBs would never let it die.

Margaret Martin – Her job is keeping an eye on David Strom, if she gets distracted running the MOB who knows what shenanigans Strommy could get into.

Andy Applecowski – That fuzzy head hides a head that can\’t spell. If he can\’t even write and can\’t even control his razor, can we really trust him with the leadership of the MOB?

Capt Ed – Is HotAir even technically a MOB blog???

The Nightwriter – His wife is a Reverend and his future son-in-law is in the seminary. Ever heard of separation of church and state?

Lady Logician – It\’s the Minnesota Organization of Blogs….she doesn\’t even live in Minnesota anymore.

Which brings me to my qualifications….which are mostly none, but at least I\’m not as bad as the yahoos listed above. I got that campaign strategy from the MN GOP, so that\’s gotta work right??

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Vote Much Lately?

November 1st, 2007 by Kevin

Heh, the election for the MOB mayor is half over already….and you should vote for me.  This is the Democratic version of voting too.  You can vote early and often.  Your dead grandmother can even vote.

So far some loser is in the lead, followed by some other loser.

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It\’s Election Time

October 30th, 2007 by Kevin

Not the election of meaningless government positions. It\’s time to elect a new MOB Mayor. The polls are open and yours truly is a candidate. Which means you should spam the polls with votes for me like you were a Ron Paul supporter.

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MOB Mayor Election Season Is Upon Us

October 10th, 2007 by Kevin

Yes, it\’s time to elect a new mayor….and by a new mayor, I mean me. Because yes, once again I am one of the candidates.

I have quite a few opponents, all of them filth.

Incumbent Andy Applecritteroloski – Under his leadership misspellings and bad grammar have quadtripled in the MOB. We need to end his time in office before we\’re all writing like a bunch of dyslexic Yodas.

Nightwriter – Ok he still hasn\’t let me buy his daughter a beer, but apparently he\’s still endorsing me, so how bad can he be??

King Baniaanananannanan – Come on…he\’s already King, do you really want to make him mayor as well. Power corrupts and all that.

Lady Logician – Ok at first glance she is a ordinary soccer mom. But heh, soccer sucks. And where in the world is it most popular?? Countries run by Marxists, socialists and terrorists. Do we really want a mayor with connections to terrorism??

Bobo The Talking Chimp – Ok do you really want a mayor that doesn\’t know enough to leave his own poo lie where he shat it??

Teaparty – Seriously?? That\’s his name??? ….wow….

Atomizer – I feel bad picking on a guy that\’s too drunk to defend himself.

Tracy Eberly – He may or may not be legally brain dead. Ah, who are we kidding, he is.

Gary Miller – The guy has about 9853107315 blogs, you think he has the time to be mayor as well?? Besides, anyone with that many blogs has serious issues.

Ryan Rhodes – Other than having a huge fetish for his own ass, he\’s a good guy.

Speed Gibson – His campaign strategy is to claim to be just like a guy that made guys wrestle in skimpy outfits (Stanley Blackburn).

As you can see I am clearly the most qualified candidate. Can we just declare me the dictator for life…..er, mayor, and be done with it?

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NARN Tied To Eco-Terrorism

October 1st, 2007 by Kevin

Anyone familiar with the guys at the Northern Alliance Radio Network (NARN) should not be surprised that they have been linked to eco-terrorism.

Students at the Community Building Children\’s Center arrived at their downtown preschool Monday morning to discover that their pet rabbit Sugar Bunny had been kidnapped over the weekend. Teachers found anti-circus flyers in his hutch.

The half-dozen flyers left behind advertised protests against the Ringling Brothers Circus, which was in town Sept. 20-23. The flyers showed a picture of a forlorn-looking bear, trying to escape underneath the bars of its cage. Animal rights groups PETA and the Northwest Animal Rights Network (NARN) were listed along the bottom.

Sure the manipulative, devious, coldhearted, sneaky bastards over at NARN will make tired old excuses about how it was a different NARN that did it. But seriously, how often are we going to fall for the \”It wasn\’t me, it was our evil twin that did it\” stories?? I for one am not going to stand up for this.

I tracked down the NARN guys to demand some answers….this is what I got…

Mitch Berg – \”Ladies and Gentleman, Twenty Years Ago Today I was doing some stuff…probably up in that frigid wasteland we call North Dakota, which really sucks Ladies and Gentleman. But then came along this rabbit, and let me tell you Ladies and Gentleman, he had it coming.\”

The Elder – \”Don\’t look at me….I was in China….or the Netherlands….or whatever country I was pretending to be in at the time so I could get out of having to actually do anything.\”

St. Paul – \”Heh, I\’m milking this I just got married thing for as long as I can, so I played no role.\”

Atomizer – \”Alcohol….mmmmmmmmm…..\”

King Banianianianian – \”Clearly you don\’t understand the economic impact this rabbit had. This rabbit represents a lagged variable for a pending population explosion, which would force the price of cedar chips to sky-rocket, which would in turn blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah\”

John Hinderocker – \”Did I mention we were the Time Blog of the Year?? I bet that rabbit can\’t claim that!!\”

Michael Brodkorb – \”Ummmm, did you read this GOP news release yet?? I\’m sure that will explain it.\”

So we are really no closer to an answer than we were before, but clearly NARN is at fault. And I believe we need to hold them accountable.

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The Truth Has Been Reborn

January 20th, 2007 by Kevin

The infamous Kennedy vs The Machine of the '06 election has reinvented itself as Truth vs The Machine.  At least some of the same staff has hung around and I'm sure the rest of them are just hiding out in corners that haven't been dusted out yet.  Same excellent commentary, but now with a broader topic.

Go and check them out!

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MOB Elections Begin

October 17th, 2006 by Kevin

On Tuesday morning, MOB polls open to elect a new mayor for the MOB. Now I know you are all sick of being subjected to the same old politicking. I know you\’re tired of outrageous claims and sob stories. So I\’ll keep my speech short and to the point.

Vote for me or I\’ll shoot ya.

That should be the proper motivation to get you to the polls. They haven\’t opened yet, but I\’m sure as soon as the deadbeat in charge of KAR gets off his lazy ass, they will open. So head on over and pull the lever for Kevin.

UPDATE : Polls are open on the right side bar at KAR.

UPDATE : Keep up the voting, I\’m off to a decent start but the simian candidate so far has a big lead. So keep voting for me so I don\’t have to shoot you. Polls close on Friday. You can vote once a day.

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Mayor Race Heats Up

October 11th, 2006 by Kevin

The first public opinion poll on the MOB mayoral race is out. And I came in with a paltry 13%, although admittedly even the top polling candidate only got 29%, so clearly there is a diverse range of opinions.

It also means not enough people are taking me seriously when I say if you don\’t vote for me, I\’ll shoot you. I have the technology and I\’ve already taken out one public figure already.

Vote For Kevin….Or He\’ll Shoot You

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