In my effort to expand the audience and usefulness of this site, I thought I\’d wander into the \”Dear Abby\” arena and help a few people out with some of their questions. Since nobody in their right mind, or left for that matter, asks me questions with the expectation of a useful answer, I had to go out and find some. Fortunately Yahoo! has an Answers area, where oddly enough, you find people with questions. I thought I\’d give it a shot.And rather than post the answer there were my answer would actually be of use and/or subject to politically correct critique, I decided to post it here. So here\’s my first attempt at an advice blogger.
Question :
My rat won\’t stop chewing? by I Luv LB
I have a lot of thingd foe him to chew on an he still chews on evrything he\’s not supposed to chew on like his food dish an the metal on his cage. My friend said he might be bored but i have no ideas left on how to keep him entetained because i have tried so much already…
Answer :
Well clearly it\’s because he isn\’t dead yet, and one could argue that is your core problem. Now alot of people have problems exterminating rats and mice, so I understand your difficulties, but I think your method of killing them with love is foolhardy at best. So allow me to suggest some alternatives. If you don\’t have pets, I would recommend a good rat poison. I\’ve had some experience with them, and can assure you they are very effective….especially if your rat doesn\’t have health insurance.
If poison is not a viable option, may I suggest traps. Nobody wants to deal with a live rat, so forget the live trap option. The typical snap traps work well, unless it\’s a very large rat, then you may have to step up to the large models. The sticky traps reportedly work well but then you have to deal with the possibility that it may just chew it\’s foot off and get away.
Hopefully that helps and I think you\’ll find that the issue of keeping him entertained, or entetained as you put, diminishes sharply in importance once you\’ve accomplished the first goal
Question :
How do snails reproduce? by adnamaria
Answer :
Well normally this is a question best answered by your parents, but if the best pet they got you was a bunch of snails, I can see where the problem might lie. So I\’ll do my best.
When two snails love each other very much, they lie with each other alot. Eventually, once the male snail gets over his anxiety of having a very small snail penis, he gets it in the female snail. They then proceed to have intercourse, which because they are snails takes a long time. This is good and bad. Good because the male rarely has the problem of pre-mature release. Bad because really the female snail would really just rather get back to watching Oprah.
Anyway, once this coupling is completed, the male snail pretends he got a emergency call about his mother being in a serious accident. While this excuse is hard for a human to pull off, it\’s really hard for a snail because how serious can a snail accident be? In any case, he manages to con his way out and then brags to his buddies about his one-night stand.
Until the female snail calls him about a week later, telling him he has a bunch of baby snails to take care of, and when is she gonna get her snail support, and why is he so lazy. The answer being to that last question is, well, he\’s a snail of course, and why does she have to be all up in his shell about it? Then they see a snail judge who awards the female snail possession of the male snails shell.
Hope that helps.
Question :
What can you do at a 10 year old girl sleepover? by Zahra S
Answer :
Oddly enough I\’ve had some experience in this area, having chaperoned a slumber party for a herd of nine-year-old girls not too long ago.
Well I\’ll tell you one thing you are NOT gonna do at the sleepover is sleep. Trust me, not gonna happen, not even if pigs were dive-bombing the house.
One thing you are gonna have to do is continuously try to maintain the structural integrity of the house. This is not an easy task, but it is necessary. May I suggest attending the local Marine boot camp, followed by a quick course in structural engineering, to help prepare you for this task. With any luck, you\’ll die during boot camp. If you do survive I recommend, that at a minimum, the following materials be on hand
- drywall
- duct tape
- paint
- cloroform
- rope
- one Haz-Mat team
- one heavy-duty crane
- a Sherpa
- one Cape Buffalo (preferably stuffed for safety sake)
What do you with said materials I\’m not quite sure, but you\’ll need them.
Oh and if you are a guy, be prepared for said 10-year old girls to barrage you with a horde of alarmingly adult question regarding your association with the mother(s) of the other girls. Not. Even. Joking. Normally I would recommend pleading ignorance, but they are prepared to offer advice and suggestions.
Question :
Can i have sex without getting pregnant? by Whit B
please help i want to have sex
Answer :
Hmmmm, given that your asking this question, I\’m assuming you haven\’t had sex education yet….and since Obama has now decided that kindergarten is the appropriate age for that, I have to assume you are pre-school or younger.
So given your likely age range and the physical limitations said age imposes, the answer is yes.
Question :
Can i contest this ticket and should I? by Colin
I am a Montreal resident and was pulled over for making a illegal left hand turn out of a parking lot. Instead of charging me for that, he charged me for not using my signal lights instead..twice, once out of the parking lot and the other merging onto a main road. I am pretty sure i had my flasher on at least one of the times. Can i contest this ticket and if i do can the officer bring up a new ticket about me making the illegal left turn which costs me 150 along with 2 demerit points instead of $110 and no points lost? I also have a probationary license and only have 3 points.
Answer :
Let me get this straight. You broke the law, which you yourself admit. The officer, instead of nailed you with one big charge, gives you two lesser charges. Two charges which result in lower monetary penalties plus no points on your record. And you are upset about this?? Maybe they do things alot different in Canuckia, but personally we call that \”getting off easy\”. Sure he could have let you off entirely. On the other hand, he could have slapped you with all three charges too. Don\’t be a dink, you\’re already Canadian, why make it worse?? Say \”thank you officer\” and move on your way.
If you do want to contest this ticket, I suggest you challenge the ticketing officer to a tried&true game of Paper, Rock, Scissors. Take Scissors, I\’m pretty sure he\’ll use Paper. We can talk about the littering charge later.
Question :
How can I share Photos with my boyfriend in Iraq?? by cpckjei
All the photo websites are blocked from their military computers and i would hate to send him actual photos in his care packages (for bulk reasons), what is a clever idea to share pictures with him? Any idea are greatly appreciated.
Answer :
Hmmmm, tell you what…I don\’t normally do this, but since I\’m a fan of the military I\’d like to help. Email me the photos, no matter how personal and/or private. Then give me his military email address, and I\’ll send them to him.
Well clearly I\’ve helped quite a few people. Yeah, that feels good.