EckerNet.Com

In response to a recent editorial by your national newspaper,

The \”inconvenient truth\” overhanging the UN\’s Copenhagen conference is not that the climate is warming or cooling, but that humans are overpopulating the world.

A planetary law, such as China\’s one-child policy, is the only way to reverse the disastrous global birthrate currently, which is one million births every four days.

I feel it necessary to include my response:

Go Fuck Yourself

That is all.

The following news comes as a shock to many people

No longer is Canada\’s armed forces prepared to spend time and money to have Canadian firms refit military equipment bought abroad or develop a Canadian version when an acceptable foreign one is available, Defence Minister Gordon O\’Connor said yesterday.

For years, Canada\’s armed forces has \”Canadianized\” new equipment – a process that O\’Connor now suggests only drives up the cost and time it takes to get badly needed gear.

It\’s a sad day that Canada will no longer produce their own weapons. In tribute to this horrible news for our friends to the (barely) north, EckerNet pays tribute to some of their more successful military ventures.
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Canada has decided not to sign onto the United States controversial missile defense program and has warned the US not to intrude upon Canadian airspace. The US has expressed the diplomatic equivalent of \”Go F yourself. We\’re gonna do it anyway\”.

Not I\’m not going to debate the sheer naivety of the stated Candian position that we must spend the valuable time to consult with them before launching a missle over their airspace to intercept a missle aimed at millions of Canadians citizens.

And I\’m not going to discuss the idiocy of not participating in the program in general. I understand this decision was made for political reasons. I understand it and from a political position it makes sense.

My real problem isn\’t even that fact that even though they aren\’t participating in the program, we would defend them anyway. If anyone invaded Canada, we would go to their defense regardless of anything else.

My problem is that they know this. And they take advantage of us because of it.

The US taxpayers have been indirectly subsidizing the Candian welfare state for years. They don\’t provide themselves a military because they know all they have to do is wimper and the US will be at their side ready to make the bad good again. We provide them a military so they don\’t have to spend taxdollars on one. Rather they can spend their money on their failed socialist system.

What do we get for this??

Appreciation? No.

Respect? No.

Support? No.

Is there anything we can do about it? No.

*sigh*

I…am an American. And Canada has always puzzled me.

Why are they there? Why do they still exist? Why are they still up there in that cold, frozen land calling themselves Canadians? After all these years, WHY have we not driven north and simply made them what they really are: Americans. Albeit, stupid ones, but Americans nonetheless.

Seriously. What is their purpose? They serve no express purpose that anyone can surmise. They aren\’t major players in world affairs. Their military consists of 2 biped planes, a life raft, and a Vespa motor scooter. I mean…if they were to suddenly be…*ahem*…\”consolidated\”…would anyone REALLY notice?

I know, I know. They have contributed in a FEW ways. Take WW2. Normandy. D-Day invasion. Canada was there, helping all the way. Hey, and don\’t think we Americans and Brits didn\’t appreciate those sandwiches! But…c\’mon guys, don\’t you think this whole Maple Leaf/Montreal Expos thing has just about gone far enough? I mean…no ones laughing anymore.

And don\’t think we\’ll just leave you guys that don\’t like the idea out in the cold. See, we\’ve handled this kind of thing before. We have this neat little concept called a \”reservation\”. I know it\’s not always perfect there, but…the natives around here sure seem to like it!

Just think about it. No more worrying that Ethiopia will fire up that one left-over plane from WW2 and come storming in to Newfoundland. No more feeling left out because no one really gives flying fuck about anything remotely related to the Maple Leafs or their \”stellar\” season. You guys can root for the Kings! Wouldn\’t that be great?!?!

Anyway, mull it over, talk amongst yourselves, decide. And when you\’re done, we\’ll do whatever the hell we want to anyway.