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2010 Resolutions

Well the New Year is almost upon us. It\’s time to do that silly thing we always do about promising to be a better person and blah blah blah blah. Instead you get this….

\"\" I will stop and smell the roses, BEFORE setting them on fire (lesson learned from last year)

\"\" I will at least pretend to notice the posted speed limit

\"\" Learn to lick my elbow

\"\" Recycle my bad karma

\"\" Stay off the FBI\’s Most Wanted list

\"\" No Dying

\"\" Try at least one animal I haven\’t eaten yet

\"\" I will stop reliving the past, instead I\’ll worry about the future.

\"\" I will spend at most one hour a day on the internet

\"\" Redefine one hour to mean \”less than 24\”

\"\" Stop getting in arguments with inanimate objects

\"\" Find a cure for clowns

\"\" Create a fool-proof Zombie Survival Plan, beyond yelling \”GET SOME!\” and shooting everything in sight.

\"\" Increase my carbon footprint

\"\" Midgets

\"\" Stop making silly resolutions

\"\" Stop when it\’s hammertime

\"\" Mature past the age of 12

Actually that last one is probably gonna take all my time this year…