Well the New Year is almost upon us. It\’s time to do that silly thing we always do about promising to be a better person and blah blah blah blah. Instead you get this….
I will stop and smell the roses, BEFORE setting them on fire (lesson learned from last year)
I will at least pretend to notice the posted speed limit
Learn to lick my elbow
Recycle my bad karma
Stay off the FBI\’s Most Wanted list
Try at least one animal I haven\’t eaten yet
I will stop reliving the past, instead I\’ll worry about the future.
I will spend at most one hour a day on the internet
Redefine one hour to mean \”less than 24\”
Stop getting in arguments with inanimate objects
Find a cure for clowns
Create a fool-proof Zombie Survival Plan, beyond yelling \”GET SOME!\” and shooting everything in sight.
Increase my carbon footprint
Stop making silly resolutions
Stop when it\’s hammertime
Mature past the age of 12
Actually that last one is probably gonna take all my time this year…