EckerNet.Com

The CD2 Republicans have launched their new fancy website, so stop by and take a look.

Why am I telling you to stop by….well I designed and built it.  So there.  Marvel at my brilliance.

The Rankings Are As Follows:

• Lloyd :7
• Drunkguy :6
• NightWriter :5
• Triple “I Whine Like A Child” A : 5
• Dan S : 4
• Mall Diva : 3
• Professor_Rackmaster : 2
• jroosh : 2
• Harvey : 2
• Bogus Doug : 2
• Aelfheld : 2
• Sola-Man : 2
• Bobby_B : 2
• Uncle Ben : 1
• Tiger Lilly : 1
• J Ewing : 1
• kingdavid : 1
• tommy g : 1
• spurringirl : 1

For this contest you get to make up your own answers!! That’s right…just pretend you’re a real life journalist and just make shit up. Post answers in the comments. They will be judged on creativity, plausibility and humor.

Question : What are they building???

Previous contests

While I am a certified right-wing extremist, I do sincerely want our federal government to not look like a complete boob.  Some would say that is a lost cause, but I always thought Jude was a pretty hip guy so for his sake I\’ll give it a shot.  Besides, he was related to a real Messiah, so I figure he\’d want me to help out the guy that thinks he our Messiah.

So this is directed towards the Obama administration.  You got the order of your agenda backwards.  It should read

1) Think
2) Act

I realize how that might get confusing.

I should have spoken up during the first days of your administration when you indicated lobbyist would have no place in your administration, and than used them to fill half your cabinet.  Or when you declared you were cracking down on tax cheats and then appointed Geithner.

Or let\’s walk through our most recent example.  You could have bought a copy of Photoshop available online for about $600, the same online website that you bought UK Prime Minister Brown\’s gift on.   Instead, you decided to fly Scare Force One, F-16 in tow, for the bargain price of $328,835,  about 20 feet above the deck across New York City….a city that has bad experiences with things like that in the past.  You might have read about that \”incident\” in the papers Mr. Messiah Sir.  When the predictable result happens, you think it over and decided it was pretty stupid.

Okay, so the public starts to calm down and then asks that as long as you\’re scaring the shit outta us, can we at least see the publicity photos??  Since publicity photos are presumably for public viewing on occasion.  Again you got the agenda backwards.  After the public predictably said, \”Heh why not??  Since when are publicity photos private??\”.  Again, after thinking about it you decided it was a pretty boneheaded move and agreed to release them.

Now I think we\’ll agree that as far as presidential duties are concerned, scaring the shit out of a major US city is a fairly minor affair.   Happens to me every day, but still, it\’s the most recent example of acting before thinking.  Remember that \”Smart Power\” you kept referring to in the campaign?  Oh and while we\’re on the topic, you do know the campaign has ended right???  Seriously right??

So please, for our sake….think, then act.  I know your narcissitic tendencies tempt you to just blow of things that don\’t benefit you but some of your decisions are fairly important.  Like whether or not giving a foreign heads of state gifts more befitting a slumber party is a wise move or not.  Or whether selling out your eastern European allies for no net gain is a good idea or not.

Just repeat after me….Think, Then Act…Think, Then Act…..Think, Then Act.  You can even make it into a little song if you like.

During the campaign, Obama promised to \”fund what works\” when it comes to education, regardless of whether the idea was a \”Republican\” or Democrat\” idea.  He\’s already broken that relatively simple guideline by letting Congress eliminate a $18 million voucher program (out of a $3.6 trillion budget) that allows Washington DC kids to get out of poor performing schools and attend decent schools instead.

Despite reports from his own Department of Education (DOE) indicating that the program is working and the kids are showing great improvements, the DOE has indicated the program will be cut.  This is not making parents very happy….many of which were Obama supporters, as you\’ll see below:

The Obama administration is now indicating, after public outcry, that they will try to save the program for CURRENT participants only.

So even thought it\’s working, you still plan to kill it.

So even though you promised to fund what works, and it\’s working, you still plan to kill it.

So even though you\’re giving billions to failing banks, you won\’t give $18 million to kids who are improving.

So even though you promised to look past the partisanship, since it\’s a voucher program (conservative idea), you\’re going to kill it.

Again, this might be Change, but it certainly doesn\’t inspire Hope.

Over the last couple of months I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don\’t be naive enough to think it couldn\’t happen to you or your friends.

Here\’s how the scam works:

Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say \’No\’ and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also April 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend..

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Walmart has wallets on sale 2.99 each

I see the His Majesty is having problems getting Congress to fund his closure of Gitmo, as a result who knows what we\’ll do with all those terrorists being held in that dreaded torture chamber, otherwise known as the Club Gitmo Resort.  So without funding, it\’s difficult to transfer the detainees….not that there is a place to transfer them to.  Nobody wants them in the US and none of their home countries want them back.  What\’s a Messiah to do….or even a President?

Makes one wonder why Gitmo is being closed at all.  Oh that\’s right…the moral high ground that we don\’t and won\’t ever torture.  Which brings to mind an interesting question which has been vexing my moral compass.

Why is it okay, praiseworthy even, to outright execute three simple pirates negotiating a ransom, but it is absolutely wrong to waterboard mass-murdering terrorists??

I don\’t condone either activity and in my opinion both are worthy of death.  But of the two, mass-murder certainly seems to be the greater of the two.  Yet while the pirates are summarily executed, the terrorists can\’t even be subjected to something that most college fraternities refer to as \”Pledge Week\”.   I certainly wouldn\’t second guess a Messiah, so it must be my moral compass that\’s off.  Given then I\’m a right-wing extremist, it must be the metal in all those firearms I\’m clinging to that are throwing it off.

All this talk of swine flu had me so scared I locked myself in my house for the weekend and refused all visitors, afraid I would fall victim to a disease that if the media were to believed makes ebola and anthrax look like a vacation.

Ok I couldn\’t even type that with a straight face…did landscaping all weekend and even though I was at the hardware store a number of times, I walked right past the face masks that supposedly are in short supply all over.  Because I knew that just like SARS and the Avian flu before it, this panic was all media produced and there was never anything to be even remotely concerned with.

So it doesn\’t surprise me at all to hear that experts are now admitting that swine flu may be no more severe than the common flu.

On behalf of everyone that didn\’t immediatly flip their shit because someone coughed, allow me to say \”Well No Duh…..Dumbasses\”.

Only in Japan, World Capitol of WTF, does this get produced…

Ok I think we can officially declare it spring.  I clubbed my first rabbit this week with my dog\’s help.

Best Amazon Review EVER….Seriously.  It\’s a review of the Playmobile Security Check Point.

Right Wing Extremist strike again!  Except they are demanding the release of illegals being held for deportation so that would probably make them Left Wing Extremists….which according to the DHS aren\’t a threat…..so just ignore the bomb threats.

Everyone calm the fuck down!  This swine flu is nothing to be worried about.  It\’s killed a few, but regular flu kills 36,000 Americans every year.  So if the flu is the snot-nosed little sister of diseases, then this swine flu is probably that snot-nosed little sister\’s puppy.

A summary of some of the missteps of Obama\’s first 100 days and how it\’s likely to affect us in the future.  But heh, don\’t be so hard on the guy….he just got around to appointing a cabinet.

Congrats Right Wing Extremists, in the past 3 months you\’ve bought enough firearms to arm the Chinese and Indian armies, COMBINED!  And you\’ve purchased 1.5 Billion rounds of ammunition!  Stimulating.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio delivers a smackdown of Rev. Sharpton.

Our country is in the very best of hands….our Treasury Department still can\’t count.

Does the White House not own a single copy of Photoshop?? Otherwise why was that flyby of New York necessary.  And we\’ve only had those airplanes for about 800 years now….surely there are literally hundreds of stock photos of Air Force One flying by the New York skyline.  One of those wasn\’t good enough???

Obama is still breaking campaign promises by rushing to sign bills.  He promised he\’d put them online for at least 5 days before signing them.  So far he\’s batting 1 out of 11.

It\’s official.  The concept of private property is officially dead in Washington DC.  Police are now handing out parking tickets to people for parking in their own driveway.  Explains the nationalization of our banks I guess.

Again, why aren\’t ships being armed before passing by Somalia??  The concept has now been proven.  Certainly a need for it.

Obama administration laughs off $8 billion spent on earmarks as a paltry amount, but thinks that $100 million in cuts is somehow a huge accomplishment.

Curious if you\’d survive a nuclear explosion if one hit a major city near you?? Well here you can map out the damage from a variety of nuclear explosions.  Good news….I\’d probably survive….just have a few extra heads.

Imagine that…Obama isn\’t fulfilling promises made to some campaign supporters.  Anyone surprised?

This doesn\’t seem like it needs to be said, but don\’t keep pets that can eat you.

Big Labor invokes George Orwell, by claiming that their loss in a secret ballot proves secret ballots are bad.  Seems to me the exact opposite is true.

I had thought that when we elected Obama, the whole country was going to unite and work together to build a better America.  Why then is youth volunteering down for the first time since 9/11.  It\’s certainly change, but does it reveal lack of hope?

Liberals tend to do this every once in awhile and it amuses me every time because the result is always the same.  They infiltrate some conservative hotbed, expecting to reveal a pit of hate and bigotry….instead they find people that are normal, friendly and open.

A very good explanation of how global warming is a classis case of alarmism.

I\’m in love.

Ever wonder how swarms of animals make a collective decision?? Wonder no more.

Nooooooo!!! They are moving forward with the remake of Red Dawn.  One of the only decent things to come out of the 1980s.  Liklihood it will be half as good as the original??? 0.0000001%