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It’s only February and I think we already have a stellar candidate for the most unintentionally hilarious line spoken this year…

“The bar that we set is the highest that any administration in the country has ever set.” – Robert Gibbs, Obama White House Spokeman

What’s even more amazing is he said it with a straight face, proving his funny bone has been surgically removed at great taxpayer’s expense.

High standards huh?? Well after Obama’s promises of “the most sweeping ethics reform in history”, vowing to “clean up both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue” and declaring that lobbyists and special interests won’t find a job in his administration, I sure hope so!!  You go girl!!  You set that bar high!!!  I feel a tingle down my leg!! HOPE™! CHANGE™!!

Let’s take a look at the people that passed that bar…

Bill Richardson (nominated to Commerce Secretary) – Dropped out due to a federal grand jury investigating his involvement in a pay-to-play scandal.

Tom Daschle (nominated to Health and Human Services Secretary) – Dropped out after it became clear he can’t remember to pay taxes.

Timothy Geithner (confirmed as Treasury Secretary) – “Forgot” to pay taxes despite signing a document indicating he was aware he had to and being given the money to do so.

Nancy Killefer (nominated to chief performance officer) – Also “forgot” to pay taxes…there seems to be a trend.

Eric Holder (confirmed at Attorney General) – In 1999, got President Clinton to pardon 16 Columbian terrorists….so far he has paid his taxes.

Hilda Solis (nominated to be Labor Secretary) – Violated House Ethics rules by being a Board member and Treasurer of a group that lobbied Congress while she was in Congress.   Didn’t find her ethics manual until after she’d been  nominated.  Also apparently her husband didn’t pay taxes for his business.

Judd Gregg (nominated to Commerce Secretary) – Thinks so highly of the work of the Commerce department, he once voted to disband it.  Clearly the best person to lead this invaluable department.

Hillary Clinton (confirmed as  Secretary of State) – Come on…it’s Billary…between the two of them they’ve broken so many ethics and criminal laws, whose to say what other skeletons lurk in those closests….other than the foreign financiers of Bill’s library that is.

William J. Lynn III (appointed as the #2 position in the Defense Department) – Lobbyist…which is a problem since one of Obama’s major campaign promises, and the topic of an Executive Order, is no lobbyists.

William Corr (nominated for deputy secretary at Health and Human Services) – Another lobbyist

Tom Vilsack (confirmed as Agriculture Secretary) – Lobbyist

Mark Patterson (appointed as chief of staff to Treasury Secretary) – Lobbyist….uh, that no lobbyist rule was a “rule” right???

David Hayes (appointed as deputy interior secretary) – Lobbyist

Ron Klain (appointed as Chief of Staff to VP Biden) – Lobbyist

Mona Sutphen (appointed Deputy White House Chief of Staff) – Lobbyist….so that was a rule right, not a “guideline”??

Melody Barnes (domestic policy council director) – Lobbyist….or even a “rumor”??

Cecilia Munoz (White House director of intergovernmental affairs) – Lobbyist

Patrick Gaspard (White House political affairs director) – Lobbyist

Michael Strautmanis (appointed as chief of staff to the president’s assistant for intergovernmental relations) – Lobbyist….did we redefine the word “rule” and I missed it??

Leon Panetta (appointed to head CIA) – Has never so much as read an intelligence briefing in all his life….but at least he didn’t lobby….as far as we know.  And he probably paid his taxes.  So far he’s the bright spot in this administration!!

Ron Sims (nominated as Deputy Secretary of House and Urban Development) – Also known as the guy that incurred the largest fine for violations of public records laws.  Basically that means he’s done the exact opposite of transparency in government.

Arne Duncan (nominated as Secretary of Education) – Oversaw the Chicago public school system which had a widespread problem of teachers/staff beating children, including fracturing bones in some cases.  Despite hundreds of verified cases, only a few resulted in disciplinary action.

Rahm Emanuel (President’s Chief of Staff) – Failing to disclose gifts, not paying taxes on those gifts and his actions on the board of Freddie Mac, at the same time as Freddie was being fined for lying about it’s earnings….these are just some of the ethical lapses that have come to light about Rahm.  So should it be surprising that he’s the one in charge of vetting the list of yahoos listed above?

Gary Locke (nominated for Secretary of Commerce) – Involved in a number of ethical scandals, involving funneling a lot of state contracts towards the company belonging to his brother-in-law.

Ron Kirk (nominated for US Trade Representative) – Forgot to pay roughly $10K in taxes.

Chas Freeman (appointed to the Chair of the National Intelligence Council) – Eventually withdraw from consideration after attention came to numerous rather nasty statements he made about Israel and his questionable ties to foreign interests.

Vivek Kundra (appointed at Chief Information Officer) – His office has been raided by the FBI, and her staff has been arrested in a bribery sting.

Tony West (appointed to head the Justice Department’s Civil Division) – Defense attorney for Johnny Walker Lindh, the American Taliban member indicted for aiding the enemy (Taliban).

H Rodgin Cohen (nominated for Deputy Treasury Secretary) -Withdrew his nomination due to an undisclosed “issue”

Annette Nazareth (nominated for Deputy Treasury Secretary) -Withdrew her nomination after it became clear she would be questioned about her role in the SEC’s failure to catch Bernie Madoff.

Caroline Atkinson (nominated for Undersecretary for International Affairs) – Withdrew her nomination due to “tax problems”

Neal Wolin (nominated as the number two man at the Treasury Department) – Wrote the deregulation legislation that is blamed for the current economic crisis.  So I suppose he’s probably uniquely qualified to deal with the mess he helped create.

Ray Mabus (nominated as Secretary of the Navy) - Started a national scandal when he secretly recorded marriage counseling involving his wife and their pastor, and then used the recording against her in court.

Wow….that’s a pretty low bar.  Don’t trip Mr President!!

In fact, by those standards I think I qualify for every position in Obama’s cabinet.  Unless, as seems increasingly likely, previous employment as a lobbyist and having committed a criminal act, is seen as a positive bullet point on a resume rather than the usual negative.

I think Andy Ostroy, a blogger writing on The Huffington Post, had a very good observation :

“Is this really the message he wants to convey to voters in just his first month in office, a message that it’s O.K. to break or skirt the law just as long as you’re a good guy with a special skill set?”

Except that if you go through the list above, not a single one possesses a special skill set not also possessed by dozens, or even hundreds of others.  Which really leads one to wonder why pick these clowns?

Allow me to paraphrase Inigo Montoya, regarding Hope™ and Change™ :

You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

[Crossposted at True North]

UPDATED: To add Ron Sims, just appointed, to the list

UPDATED: To add additional “tax problems” regarding Solis.

UPDATED: To add Arne Duncan

UPDATED: To add Rahm Emanuel

UPDATED: To add Gary Locke

UPDATED: To add Ron Kirk

UPDATED: To add Chas Freeman, Vivek Kundra, Tony West, H Rodgin Cohen, Annette Nazareth and Caroline Atkinson

UPDATED: To add Neal Wolin and Ray Mabus