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To address the looming economic crisis, England has added four more crows to the Tower of London.  That oughta do it.

This election season is just getting better and better.  Police across the nation are preparing for unrest (read: rioting) if Democrats lose.  In what I\’m sure is completely unrelated news, Republican HQ manager\’s house is shot up.

First Murtha calls his constituents racist, now they are just rednecks.  I suppose that\’s progress.  Although personally I tend to see the term as a compliment rather than the insult he probably meant it.

Or perhaps he was talking about the idgit vote??

Shocker : Our airport security is absolutely worthless.  Everyone panic.

Net Term : Carborexics – To refer to all the miserable asshats who spend their entire day lamenting their carbon footprint, preaching veganism and recycling their toilet paper.

On the other hand, if you have any idea where all that global warming went, please notify Al Gore.  Because it all just disappeared.

Although some cynics would just say all that \”evidence of global warming\” was a load of crap.  And in related news, reusable diapers have a bigger carbon footprint that disposables.

Oh goody, the vast right wing conspiracy (VRWC) is back…..according to Her Clintoness herself.

That\’s gotta be the reason Obama is starting to slide in the polls.

Or it could be because of any number of the reasons in this Comprehensive Argument Against Barack Obama.

Shocker! Republicans and Democrats watch different TV shows…here\’s how they break down.

Blogging just got expensive….they are recommending blogger\’s liability insurance now for anyone that does more than blog about their damned cat.

Due to low oil prices, Hugo Chavez seen digging in couch cushions for spare change.

Does Obama suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)???  Here\’s the case for it, you decide.

Code Pinko has unilaterally declared victory and retreated from Berkley…kinda like they want us to do in Iraq.  US Marine Corps: 1 Code Pinko: 0

Apparently large numbers of cats are disappearing in a certain part of England…leading it to be called the Permuda Triangle.  Still not sure what the problem is….sounds like a good thing to me.

The Ten Worst Political Ads this year.

First Google had it\’s own naval fleet, now it has it\’s own air force.  France surrenders just in case.

Both of the Twin Cities liberal newspapers have endorsed Coleman over Franken.  In related news, the DNR reminds us that the River Styx is not frozen enough for ice fishing.

In case you missed it the I-35W bridge fell due to a design flaw.  This despite claims by virtually every Democrat that it was because of greedy Republicans, which they apparently concluded from a 20-second blamestorming session.

Someone finally asked Biden/Obama some tough questions.  End result, the Obama campaign cuts off this particular news station.  How dare you question the Messiah!

Tonite, myself, the girlfriend and several other folks from MN CD2 GOP will be attending the Lincoln-Reagan Dinner Fundraiser.  Amongst others we\’ll get to hear from Norm Coleman, John Kline and Rudy Giuliani.  Should be a great chance to listen to some great speakers as well as kick back for a relaxing evening with some of the other folks who collectively help keep CD2 a well-oiled machine.

Even better is that I\’m pretty much calling it a week, because I\’m leaving straight from the dinner to head out to western MN to join the rest of the MN Militia to hunt the elusive ring-necked pheasant.  Hmmm…I wonder if my suit&tie would make good hunting attire??

Cya…

Few weeks ago I pointed out that Cynthia McKinney is batshit crazy.  As it turns out Cindy Sheehan is almost as crazy.  She\’s apparently believe her campaign against Pelosi is being sabotaged.

Amongst her claims:

• During the DNC, hotel staff claimed they were changing a light bulb but it was really AT&T bugging her phone.  Evidence for this has not been forthcoming.
• Organizers of a LA musical festival wouldn\’t let her speak, even claiming that the mayor intervened to silence her speech.  Seems like she\’s mostly pissed that this wasted a day of campaigning…although a wise person would point out that a person running for office in San Fransisco is wasting a day no matter what they are doing in LA.
• Can\’t understand why one of our volunteers turned out to be batshit crazy….so it must be that they are a spy for Pelosi.
• The taillights on her RV were busted out.  This is an obvious conspiracy against her….which should be a shock to thousands of people across the country who have had their vehicle bumped by another in a parking lot.  It\’s especially shocking to other campaigns across the country whose vehicles have received far worse.
• Despite her admission that her campaign office is in a \”rough part of town\”, the fact that four people came into her campaign office and tried to steal a computer, is absolutely positive evidence of a conspiracy.
• She\’s been summoned for Jury Duty….which apparently has never happened to anyone before her.
• All those robo calls she scheduled that accidentally took place at like 10:30 pm due to a computer error were really evidence of a mass conspiracy.  Because any robo calling business is looking for a reason to piss off their customers and develop a bad reputation just for the fun of it.

With Cynthia McKinney on the east coast and Cindy Sheehan on the west coast, \”flyover country\” has never looked so good.

Paging Barack Obama…

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

Thomas Jefferson

Still want to \”spread the wealth\”?

John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, \’No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I\’ve been in a whorehouse.\’

The second barber turned to McCain and said, \’How about you?\’ McCain replied, \’Go ahead, my wife doesn\’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.

Ok you had the Election version a couple days ago….here are the non-election ones to get your week started right.

Parts of California and Oregon want to secede and form their own state.  May I suggest an alternative?? How about we\’ll give them part of Oregon for their own country, but they have to promise to take all of California with them and never bother us again.  And no California doesn\’t come with a warranty or a return policy.

Energy lessons we should have learned from the 70s according to the NYT.  Basically it boils down to this…..BUILD A GOD DAMN NUCLEAR POWER PLANT ALREADY ASSHOLES!!!

Remember when the Minnesota Citizens\’ Personal Protection Act (Handgun carry permit) was being debated?? Anti gun activists predicted blood in the streets??  Well that was five years ago now, and so far Minnesota hasn\’t morphed into the Wild West as a \”decent\” article points out….plus my carry permit instructor is featured in it.

Anonymous online reporting of school bullies?? Yeah, that ought to work well, I see no fundamental flaws in that plan…especially when one takes the impulsive and mischievous nature of kids into consideration.

Google is offering the online equivalent of beer goggles?? Wow, just how bad is the porn you\’re looking at that you need……oh, it\’s for email?? No more drunk emailing??  Well hell, and who says all the important things have already been invented.  Why is it we have mail goggles but still no cure for cancer.  WTF?

Some crazed physic lunatic had predicted that benevolent intergalactic aliens would make a three day stop in Alabama starting on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008.  The fact that you\’re just hearing about it should be a damn good indicator of how that went.

When the tide laps at Gulliver\’s waistline, it usually means the Lilliputians are already 10 feet under.  A very good argument for why America will retain it\’s superpower status regardless of this economic downturn.

Mantyhose….the most significant evidence of the deterioration of the Y Chromosome since the manbra.

The Bee Gees are now a life saving device.  Sing it! Stayin\’ Alive Stayin\’ Alive Ah ha ha ha Stayin\’ Alive…..

If you\’re going to use a vacuum as a sexual toy, may I recommend using your home vacuum rather than….say the one in a carwash???

An illegal immigration raid cost $5 million but is still going to be a net benefit to tax payers.

You\’re doing it wrong….I may not be a doctor but I\’m pretty certain that a power washer isn\’t needed to apply feminine spray.

I like to do these Deep Thoughts things at the end of the week, because it\’s a braindead way to end the week, which is nice.  This week I had so many linky things that it got obscene.  So I decided to split them up.  So today you get the election edition!! On Sunday evening I\’ll throw up the non-election one and you can start the week braindead.  Everyone wins!

I find it absolutely fascinating that the map of where ACORN is active is almost the same as the map that highlights locations of massive voter fraud.

A comprehensive state-by-state breakdown of voter fraud….including the latest addition, Minnesota…and yeah, it involves ACORN.

When a Republican did it it was evidence of a Culture of Corruption.  When the same Democrat that replaced said Republican does it, well we just don\’t need to talk about it.  Nothing to see here, move along.

Bet you\’ve been wondering what the NRA has to say about your local candidates….well, here you go.

Some of Obama\’s famous quotes….and some that you won\’t believe.

Some more quotes demonstrating what the Liberal Left means by open minded and tolerance!

Palin doesn\’t appear to be the only one getting frustrated with McCain, the base is as well.  And he\’s losing control of them.  Although to be fair, he never really had control of them.

Although perhaps rabid conservatives going out of control is better than them staying home come November?

Public Service Warning : Don\’t heckle Palin at a rally….she doesn\’t tolerate it.

Even I was a little surprised at how long the list of rather \”interesting\” Obama friends is.

According to the Star Tribune, that whole gas tax thing is no longer an issue just because gas is cheaper now.  I dunno, I may not be an expert but I can add and subtract.  And by my figuring, while gas is cheaper now, it would be even cheaper if it weren\’t for the gas tax.

The candidate who won the primaries primarily due to media bias, and whom has undergone no tough questions or media vetting, is claiming media bias is preventing him from leading by even more.  In other words, you might want to avert your eyes from his arrogance or your retinas might fry.

Note to all candidates (future and present) – Calling all your constituents racists to a local newspaper….bad idea.  Twice…well, you\’re just a God damn moron aren\’t you?

That whole Palin supporter screaming \”Kill him\” in reference to Obama…..apparently completely made up by the media.  No bias here, move along….move along…

One thing Obama did really really well in the last debate is to lie.