EckerNet.Com

It’s been at least a couple months since my last hunting trip so obviously I’m very overdue. So as of today, I am heading to an undisclosed location (western NoDak) with several other members of the MN Militia to a relaxing few days of copious amounts of shooting.

I will return sometime on Monday, just in time to participate in the RNC festivities in an undisclosed role (seriously that one’s actually undisclosed…for now). My ability/time/resources to blog during that time are currently unknown and will likely be very much in flux so you’ll have to bear with me on that one.

Apparently a few need this little concept of the website explained. Basically these are various tidbits that I’ve noticed or been intrigued by recently. I give you a link and a few minor snarky comments. They you giggle or grin at it and then move onto the next one. At the end we pretend this was a post that took alot of time/effort.

One of the more convincing reasons to vote for McCain…he’ll let you eat fried food and drive a car.

Oh those precious Taliban. We’re so cruel not to show their humanity. After all, all they wanted to do was capture a British soldier and skin him alive, which of course they’d broadcast online.

What the hell is wrong with Alaska?? Their political system is notorious for it’s corruption. And despite Palin’s efforts to fix that, she can only do so much in the short time she’s been in office. But now Alaskans just screwed up their best chance to get rid of two of their most corrupt. Both Senator Ted Stevens and Representative Don Young just won their Republican primaries. WTF?!? What the hell is wrong with you people???

Apparently the astronauts have been looking at too much porn and downloading too many MP3s up on the International Space Station. Either that or this is just a really subtle way for us to back out of the ISS due to declining relations with Russia.

Still think we don’t need a secure border?? Then you probably haven’t heard that the Mexican cartel has given the green light for hits in the US.

ICE raids another employer and nets 600 illegal immigrants. But don’t worry about those jobs that “Americans won’t do”….there is a line out the door of legal residents to apply for those jobs.

Good news, Teresa Kerry-Heinz hasn’t gotten any less crazy since 2004. She is still absolutely convinced that Kerry won the 2004 election.

Probably good news for Iraq. The Marines in Anbar are getting bored and want to go to Afghanistan where the action is.

The new Internet Explorer will have a “porn mode“. I’m not kidding. Basically when you activate it, it stops keeping a record of your surfing history and deletes any cookies that might be created.

Apparently Karl Rove’s “kill the darkies” hurricane control device is malfunctioning. Because another hurricane is bearing down on Louisana, which could cause the GOP to postpone their convention.

That recession still hasn’t shown up….the economy GREW by 3.3% in Q2.

How do you know when you’re a failure?? You try to commit suicide by shooting yourself in the head….FIVE TIMES…and you still live.

More and more it looks like Obama’s decision not to take the public financing he promised he would take was a bad idea. He’s way behind the curve he needs to be on.

McCain decided early Thursday who his VP would be, he alerted that person in the afternoon. Thursday afternoon Pawlenty starts cancelling interviews. On the other hand, Pawlenty is supposed to be at the State Fair on Friday…which is when McCain is supposed to make the announcement. So who knows…..actually you do…because by the time you read all this we’ll know who the VP is.

How cute…and how appropriate. Obama’s sets are designed by the same team that designs Britney Spears.

Since she’s such a God awful House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi has apparently tried to be a theologian. And she failed so miserably that virtually every bishop in the country is rushing to criticize her botched interpretation of Catholic teachings.

So much for freedom of speech. Obama doesn’t like people pointing out his connections to terrorist Ayers, so instead he’s decided to try to squelch their speech. Funny, according to most liberals that’s something only Republicans would do. This is a rather funny definition of “change”.

Anyone that ever worked in retail or customer service (heh, didn’t everyone at least once in their lives?) shares a common bond. The knowledge that those jobs would be great if it weren’t for the damn customers. Which is why I’ve enjoyed Not Always Right, which is a site a friend of mine sent me a few weeks ago. The stories are amusing in a nostalgic sort of way. Even if you never worked a pizzeria, or tech support, you can relate.

But anyone that’s ever puzzled at the fascination of youth with Che Guevara, can definitely relate to this:

(I overheard this in a comic book store in a trendy area of town.)

Teenager: *points to t-shirt of Che Guevara* “Hey look, it’s the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine!”

Teenager’s friend: “I am totally buying one!”

If you’ve ever actually spoken to some kid wearing a Che shirt, it’s not that hard to believe this tale of retail is probably true. And it reminds me a little of a parody motivation poster:

The near cult-worship nature of the Obama campaign is not exactly a new concept. From the near religious fervor of his supporters, to the campaign graphics, including some that seem to equate Obama with Jesus, it’s gotten a little weird. Each day I’m expecting Obama to try “loaves and fishes” as a highlight of his speech. But now, it appears that full fledged creepiness has been achieved…

Republicans, who mock Barack Obama as a self-appointed divine savior, gleefully pounced Thursday on pictures of the set for his big convention speech, which appears to resemble a temple.

The Democratic presidential candidate will accept the party White House banner before a more than 70,000-strong crowd at an outdoor football stadium here late Thursday.

Pictures and an aerial film footage of the set being constructed for the speech show a curved backdrop with creamy, gray column-like structures, which could suggest Washington architecture, or a classical structure, like a Greek or Roman temple.

I ask you, does that look like “Washington architecture”?? Only in that it has columns, other than that, you got yourself a classic greek Temple of Obama there. I’m a little reluctant to ask what’s likely to be sacrificed to The One in that temple. Virgin interns??

With all this, perhaps Obama and his supporters don’t think he’s actually Jesus. What with the self-adoration and his own greek temple, I’m sorta thinking Narcissus might be the more applicable comparison.

Obama’a aides need to reel him in a bit, before this gets out of control (too late!). It makes me recall a bit of a book I read awhile back, written by a former Secret Service agent who served in the Carter, Reagan and Clinton administrations. He remarked how when a new President was elected they were frequently still riding high on the euphoria of winning the election and thinking pretty high of themselves, and therefore not taking personal security all that seriously. Apparently they have to remind new Presidents that yes, half the country voted for you…but the other half voted against you. And of that latter half there are a significant number that really don’t like you, of that there are some that hate you. And of that, there are a few that probably want to kill you. Apparently that speech was necessary in order to get the new President to return to earth and realize how important his personal security was.

It appears as if Obama is riding pretty high on that euphoria already, and just like his presidential podium, it’s a little premature. I wonder how high Mount Olympus is? I imagine a fall of that height is gonna hurt pretty bad.

Apparently it is necessary to remind some of my less socially skilled visitors that EckerNet does have a totally bullshitted official comment policy:

The Official EckerNet Comment Policy

1. I am barely aware that I have a comment area…and in a court of law will claim complete ignorance.
2. Once anything crosses the electronic gateway of my domain, it becomes my property. So keep your kids off the internet…I don’t want to accidentally own any, they scare me
3. I can and will ban you for any reason, or no reason, especially if you are willing to cough up large sums of cash to reverse my reason.
4. Any post that doesn’t lavish praise upon me is at risk of being heavily modified until it does.
5. Trolls will have their posts modified so that they look incredibly stupid, such as turning their comment into a request for anal sex.
6. Your email address will not be published, unless I feel like it and you are a giant a-hole.
7. And by “not published”, I mean I will attempt to sell it to as many people as possible.
8. Spammers will probably not even be noticed as my spam filter works wonders…so spam to your own content.
9. Your comment sucks…post something better
10. Whatever…I’m just gonna do whatever I want.

Just saying…

Reports are that McCain plans a 3-day bonanza of a VP announcement, including stop in Ohio, Missouri and Pennsylvania. This is a significant departure, and vast improvement, over Obama’s choice of a botched 3 AM text message. The timing is clearly intended to short-circuit any lingering press coverage of the DNC and to minimize any bump Obama may receive in the ratings.

Although there are some possible pitfalls to that decision. The way the DNC has been going it might almost be best to just let the media dwell on it. Especially when the highlights include

• A speech by Ted Kennedy, which successful only because Mary Jo Kopechne was unavailable for rebuttal
• A speech by Michelle Obama, who is apparently still trying to decide when exactly she became proud of her country.
• A speech by Hillary Clinton, attempting to quell a revolt by her delegates, who are apparently already booing from the floor.
• It’s largely been a boring snooze fest. No attacks, no wild rallies, no nothing.
• Eco-craziness that has gone wrong

Any surprise that Obama’s numbers have actually gone DOWN in the polls? Although to be perfectly fair, that is more likely due to his rather weak choice of Biden as a VP candidate.

Which brings me to my next point. Even this late stage of the game we’re still hearing of possibilities that make me shiver. Lieberman? Seriously?? What exactly does he contribute to the ticket other than pissing off the few factions that are happy with a McCain ticket.

A less than thrilling VP selection might very well suck the life out of a Republican contingent that is only just starting to emerge from it’s funk. Not least because should McCain and his soon to be selected VP win the election, that VP is almost certainly our nominee for 2012 or 2016. After eight years of Bush and four-plus of McCain, the base it not likely to be content with another RINO.

Pawlenty has been mentioned seriously, but I doubt he is conservative enough to run in any state other than Minnesota, or perhaps Massachusetts. Which brings me to Romney, same problem…plus the religion factor, which for some reason is an issue with people.

I hadn’t really given Palin much thought. Sure she’s a solid conservative and Kathryn Jean Lopez makes a heck of an argument for her selection at The Corner. But at the same time, in an election that already centers around he inexperience, does she have enough experience to be able to handle the job? Although if one looks at things through a rather optimistic and long range seeing glasses, it does work out rather nice. It sets us up for a Palin/Jindal ticket in 2012 or 2016.

Heh, it’s a long ways away, unlikely to happen and assumes quite a bit. But just trying to find a silver lining in a McCain presidency.

As you probably know, the Democrat National Convention starts this week. It will be covered non-stop 24/7 and the media will go into near orgasmic frenzy over the coronation of the Messiah. It’s gonna take a strong heart, a sound mind and a herculean liver to make it through the week.

We present the official EckerNet DNC Drinking Game…

Take one drink for each of the following:

• You hear the word “Change”, “Hope”, “Audacity” or something is declared a distraction
• A female member of the audience passes out
• The debate over global warming is declared over
• The Georgian conflict is mentioned
• Halliburton or Enron are blamed for something
• Someone brags about how “green” the convention is
• Someone blames Bush for anything
• The camera focuses on any minority

Take two drinks for each of the following:

• You hear the word “Nazi”, “Facist”, “Neo-Con” or “diversity”
• A draft is mentioned.
• Someone makes mention of their plan for peace anywhere
• Someone claims to “support our troops”

Take three drinks for each of the following:

• Iraq is mentioned
• Anyone mentions their own military service
• Camera catches someone in mid-yawn
• A protester is dragged out of the room
• Anyone admits they made a mistake

Finish your drink for the following:

• Obama makes it through his speech without a single “uh”
• Blogs, bloggers, or blogging is mentioned
• A fistfight ensues

Down a liter of your favorite alcohol if:

• Karl Rove makes an appearance
• Al Gore removes his head, proving he’s really a robot
• Cheney appears and shoots someone
• Drink another bottle if he does it on purpose
• Ted Kennedy apologizes for killing Mary Jo Kopechne

For multiple players:

• Every time the “rich” are mentioned, the person with the most in their drink has to “donate” some of his/her drink to the others in the room.
• If “for the children” is uttered, the oldest person in the room, has to refill everyone’s drink

X rated version:

• Every time global warming, Al Gore, polar bears, Katrina or carbon credits are mentioned, lose an article of clothing.

DISCLAIMER : We take no responsibility for anything that happens as a result of actually participating in this game. And by anything I mean anything. That includes drunkeness, liver failure, pregnancy, vomiting, divorce, marriage, adoption, restraining orders, etc.

The Rankings Are As Follows:

• Triple “I Whine Like A Child” A : 5
• NightWriter : 4
• Dan S : 4
• Lloyd :4
• Drunkguy :3
• Mall Diva : 3
• jroosh : 2
• Harvey : 2
• Bogus Doug : 2
• Aelfheld : 2
• Sola-Man : 2
• Bobby_B : 2
• Tiger Lilly : 1
• Uncle Ben : 1
• J Ewing : 1
• Professor_Rackmaster : 1
• kingdavid : 1
• tommy g : 1
• spurringirl : 1

For this contest you get to make up your own answers!! That’s right…just pretend you’re a real life journalist and just make shit up. Post answers in the comments. They will be judged on creativity, plausibility and humor.

Question : What new Olympic event does this picture show?

Previous contests

Ok Obammy finally announced his VP pick for his presidential campaign. No it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Brings no states with him, he’s full of bungles and f-ups, and the only issue he supposedly brings is foreign policy. And even on that he is full of negatives. He voted for the Iraq War which cancels out Obammy’s supposed anti-war appeal. And once we were at war and faced with continuing secretarian problems, he wanted to break the country up into ethnic enclaves. Which means when faced with the biggest foreign policy decision in the last five years, they both completely f-ed it up.

So in short, the wheels continue to come off the Obama train. Which makes this increasingly likely to be the third straight election the Democrats screwed up for themselves.

Congrats guys, you make the Republicans look good….which let’s face it, is getting increasingly difficult these days.

You know the drill….

Obama’s decision not to take public financing for his campaign has increasingly looked like a bad idea. Especially when you look at how McCain is doing. He’s got so much extra cash to burn, he’s going to buy commercials to be broadcast DURING the DNC convention.

On the other hand (you have different fingers), if this Russia thing flares up much more, he won’t have to…nobody will be paying attention to anything else but the deteriorating situation in Georgia and Russia.

Apparently Russian soldiers consider the Georgian side of the frontlines to be the “American side“. And the Georgian people think that the West, specifically McCain and Bush, saved the Georgian capital from Russian advance.

According to Rasmussen, whose been one of the more accurate pollsters, a full 69% of Americans think securing the border is more important than legalizing illegal aliens. Which is unfortunate, since neither McCain nor Obama agree with that. Looks like I’m not gonna be alone in being pissed off no matter who wins in November.

For what it’s worth, here’s an article from Mikhail Gorbachev giving the Russian side of events. Yes it’s obviously biased but there are a few solid points made therein. Although the article is only a few days old and it has already been greatly undermined by Russia’s recent actions.

Russia terminates their agreement to use Ukraine’s launch detection satellite facilities. So Ukraine turns around and offers their use to us. How nice….and at Russia’s expense even. Bonus Points!

Yeah, our corporate tax rates are pretty much ridiculous. Even by global standards.

How to make a deer stand.

Damn mother nature!!! She just refuses to cooperate with the global warming alarmists. Seems like every time there is a global warming rally, there is a massive blizzard. Now the Arctic is refusing to melt despites widespread and fatalist predictions that it would. So I guess those polar bears are just fine then huh?

In fact, apparently in about 10 years we’re starting a 60 to 80 year “mini ice-age”. Apparently that whole “low solar activity” thing is starting to concern scientists. For the rest of us that means stock up on snowmobiles and ice-fishing gear.

Bush is apparently “McCain’s President“. Makes me wonder who Obama thinks is President right now. He can’t be THAT out of touch can he?? Then again he is pretty slow. He does know which committees he’s on, he thinks there are 57 states, he didn’t realize all his friends have major flaws, and his wife is still trying to figure out if she is proud of her country or not.

Apparently being an anti-war activist is a career now.

Oh goodie, Obama wants to pursue single-payer health care. That is despite the fact that it hasn’t worked anywhere, even in the US (i.e. VA). And even though even Canada and Europe are admitting the folly of it. Yet, we’re supposed to trust Obama’s superior judgement?

Apparently Baghdad Bob is now working for Russia….and here’s an interview with him.

Want to know what type of crap the activists at the DNC and RNC conventions plan to use?? Well fortunately for you, here they are in one location.

Yeah, I don’t think slamming D&D is really a wise move for a presidential campaign either. There are probably alot more people than most realize that grew up playing D&D. Most of us did not turn out to be satan-worshipping losers living in their parents basement.

Apparently when the US Navy said “instead of another stealth destroyer let’s build lots of regular destroyers”, they meant “let’s do both!!!“. And really who can deny them when thye look at you with those adorable water-logged eyes.