EckerNet.Com

If California didn\’t exist, we\’d have to invent them….or die of boredom.

California is making it mandatory for cars to be labeled with global warming scores, figures that take into account emissions from vehicle use and fuel production.

The law requiring the labels goes into effect at the start of next year for all 2009 model cars, though its expected the labels will be popping up on cars in the coming months.

Clearly this is meant to work on the scarlet letter principle. By forcing you to carry around this global warming number, it\’s meant to shame people into buying hybrids and other such \”almost-cars\”. Now in elite parties all over California you\’ll have conversations like this:

Pompous Ass 1 : My this arugula is exquisite. And this wine has such a beached whale aftertaste that goes well with the marsupial spunk highlight.
Pompous Ass 2 : Yes it is a fine selection. It always reminds me of New Jersey in the summer.
Pompous Ass 2 : Did you see my new boy toy??
Pompous Ass 1 : Oh yes, so lovely, and at only 12 years old he\’s to die for.
Pompous Ass 2 : Speaking of riding, what are you driving?
Pompous Ass 1 : Oh you\’re naughty, I\’m driving a 7. You?
Pompous Ass 2 : Puhlease! As if I\’d drive a 7, I\’m driving a 9.
Pompous Ass 1 : A 9?? Oh how nice. What is it?
Pompous Ass 2 : A bicycle but it\’s got such a cute basket!

I\’m even envisioning new movies where the global warming number of the bad guys vehicle is used as a plot device. The lunancy of such an idea allows for no end to the idiocy of potential ideas.

Of course I think they are also not considering the other end of the equation. There are people (myself included) who don\’t give a damn what their global warming index is. In fact, some (myself included) might even take a certain perverse degree of pleasure in having a \”bad\” global warming index….if for no other reason that to twist the tails of some of the eco-hippies. It might even work as a selling point

AD : Now announcing the 2009 Hummer, now with a sub-zero global warming index!!

There are people that can be shamed by something like this global warming index. But then again those people have probably already switched to \”green\” vehicles. And then there are people that either don\’t care, or care but for the opposite reasons, that this just isn\’t going to affect…and they are probably the ones still driving those \”bad\” vehicles. In other words, it\’s not only a shitastic idea, it\’s also ineffective.