EckerNet Super-Cool Exciting Contest!! Part 35
April 7th, 2008 by 
Kevin
The Rankings Are As Follows:
- Triple “I Whine Like A Child” A : 5
- NightWriter : 4
- Dan S : 4
- Lloyd :3
- Mall Diva : 3
- jroosh : 2
- Harvey : 2
- Bogus Doug : 2
- Aelfheld : 2
- Sola-Man : 2
- Bobby_B : 2
- Drunkguy : 2
- kingdavid : 1
- tommy g : 1
- spurringirl : 1
For this contest you get to make up your own answers!! That’s right…just pretend you’re a real life journalist and just make shit up. Post answers in the comments. They will be judged on creativity, plausibility and humor.
Question : What sweet nothings is this walrus whispering?
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Posted in EckerNet Super-Cool Exciting Contest | 
April 7th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the Walrus, goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob…
(sorry for the obvious Beatles reference)
April 7th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Beatles? Feh - this walrus has obviously got some Barry White mojo going on:
“It feels so good
You lying here next to me
Oh, what a groove
You have no idea how it feels
My flippers just won’t keep still
I love you, baby
Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you
I just wanna hold you
Run my flippers through your hair
Ooh
Outta sight
Uh-huh, right there, you like it like that
Closer
Come here, closer, close
Oh, baby
Oh, baby”
April 7th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Let’s SEAL this Deal sweetie!
April 7th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I’d like to remind NW and the rest of the contestants, that making the judge vomit is probably going to cost you points.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:01 am
hey baby, wanna snuggle?
April 8th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Join me, Lucy, and together we will overthrow the emperor and rule the galaxy!
April 8th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Si se puede!
April 8th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I feel better, better
Move to ten items or less
Should I let her, let her, let me in front of her?
Sure, I guess
I’m close to checkout, she asks,
“Are you the walrus?”
I said “yes” without listening
“Oh, come on, be honest.”
I’m close to checkout, she asks,
“Are you the walrus?”
I said, “Yes, and that’s a promise!”
“Oh, come on, be honest.”
Be, be honest, be, be, be honest
Be, be honest, be, be, be honest
That’s from ‘Are you the walrus?’ by Furthermore
April 8th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
TL, if I had an award for the most schizoid set of entries, you just won the lifetime achievement version of it.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Will you please cuddle with me? None of the other walruses are lesbians. Well, except Rosie, but she’s full of herself.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Walrus: “Same price as before?”
Number nine…Number nine…Number nine…”
April 9th, 2008 at 9:47 am
I thought schizoid meant a personality disorder characterized by dissociation.
I don’t get it.
April 9th, 2008 at 10:31 am
Will you love me forever? Will you love me forever?
Baby Baby let me sleep on it, I’ll give you an answer in the morning
I got to know right now!!
(Gratuitous Meatloaf Entry)
April 9th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
“What’s the matter, baby? You’re acting like a cold fish today.”
- or -
“Wanna be my chum?”
April 9th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Girl: “This is absolutely the LAST time I let Kevin Ecker set me up with a blind date.”
Walrus: “Ebony, and ivory, live together on my piano keyboard, why can’t we?”
Hey Stover - was that a Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley reference?
April 9th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Sweet nothings, sweet nothings, sweet nothings…
April 9th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
(HER)
Here we are, just the two of us together
Takin’ this crazy chance to be all alone
We both know that we should not be together
‘Cause if we’re found out, it could mess up
Both our happy homes
(HIM)
I hate to think about us all meetin’ up together
‘Cause as soon as I look at you it will show on my face, yeah
Then they’ll know that we’ve been loving each other
We can’t let ‘em know, no, no, no
We can’t leave a trace
(BOTH)
Secret blubber, yeah, that’s what you are
We shouldn’t be together
But we can’t let go, no, no
‘Cause we love each other so
Ooh…ooh…
(HER)
Sittin’ at home, I do nothin’ all day
But I think about you and hope that you’re okay
Hopin’ you’ll call before anyone gets home
I wait anxiously alone by the phone
(HIM)
How could something so wrong be so right
I wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight, yeah
Livin’ two lives just ain’t easy at all
But we gotta hang on in there or fall
CHORUS:
(BOTH)
Secret blubber, yeah, that’s what we are
Tryin’ so hard to hide the way we feel (and that you’re just a big seal)
‘Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let go
‘Cause what we feel is, oh, so real
So real, and you’re a seal
(BOTH)
You and me, are we fair
Is this cruel or do we care
Can they tell what’s in our minds
Maybe they’ve had secret loves all of the time
(HIM)
In the middle of makin’ love we notice the time
We both get nervous ‘cause it’s way after nine
(HER)
Even though we hate it, we know it’s time that we go
We gotta be careful so that no one will know
CHORUS
So real, you’re a seal
April 10th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Hey - I just thought of a distinctive title for these little competitions:
Kevin’s Karoake Kaption Kontest!
April 10th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Promise her anything, but give her Walnettos.
April 11th, 2008 at 12:41 am
For the incredibly disturbing, yet amusing, paradise by the dashboard lights reference I’m declaring Lloyd the winner.
And I’m considering taking points away from Nightwriter for alternately disgusting and insulting the judge!!
We now have a three way tie for second.
April 12th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
For the record, do you know what happens if you Google “Walrus of Love”?
You get all kinds of Barry White links! It’s true…try it!
April 13th, 2008 at 10:00 am
“and now I’m waiting for the end of time, to hurry up and arrive, because if I have to spend another minute with you, I don’t think that I can survive”
Hey wait, I think were back to Night Writer’s blind date reference…