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Year In Review

December 31st, 2007 by Kevin

Well I typically make yearly predictions, and I made some for 2007, let\’s see how I did.

Renewed claims of the sky is falling will be taken up again the next time Bush promotes absolutely anything. Once again, the sky will not fall. This trend will not end.

Sadly very true

After virtually every instance of especially bad weather, liberal moonbat pundits will assume an “I told you so” aura as they decry “scientifically proven” global warming and how it’s all Bush’s fault.

Well I\’ll give myself half credit, we had pretty good weather, but this still didn\’t stop the enviroweenies from claiming that global warming would cause catastrophically bad weather.  Mother Nature continued to demonstrate a sense of humor by causing a snow storm every time there was a global warming rally.

Microsoft products will continue to suck

Oh god yes….they suck, I have been the unfortunate victim too many times this year.

Learned Foot will use the word “boobies” in no less than 300 posts.

I think it\’s fairly safe to say this was the case, although \”poop\” and/or \”bacon\” seems to be his latest favorite.  Fortunately, he doesn\’t use them in the same sentence much.

I will finally win the Rock Solid In The Blogosphere Award!

Well one wasn\’t awarded in 2007, so no I did not.  I think half of the selection committee died or something.

There will be another Supreme Court vacancy. Democrats will proclaim Bush as a “divider” if he nominates a replacement to the right of Jimmy Carter.

There was no vacancy, and looks not to be one yet this year.

The Post-MILF festivities will bring open warfare between Learned Foot and his neighbors

Undeclared maybe, but certainly short of open warfare.

A giant fenarglebeast, weighing approximately one metric fuck-ton, will appear and threaten all of mankind. What exactly a fenarglebeast is, and how much it weighs will never be satisfactorily explained.

Yes, Hillary made an appearance

Out of nowhere an army of rabid flying wombats will emerge and defeat the dreaded fenarglebeast, although the city of Paris will be wiped out when the fenarglebeast farts. Everyone considers it a win-win situation. Officials at EckerNet.Com will refuse to comment on the wombat army.

Wombat army breeding fell behind schedule due to lack of wombat porn.  And if that sentence doesn\’t net me the weirdest google hits ever, I don\’t know what will.  Look for me to be the number one google hit for \”wombat porn\”.

President Bush will officially announce his candidacy for the Presidency of Mexico. As part of his announcement, he will cite his longstanding advocacy for the welfare of Mexicans everywhere.

Officially no, unofficially yes.

McCain and Guiliani will fade as desirable candidates for the 2008 Republican nomination for President. Mitt Romney and Duncan Hunter will emerge as the preferred candidates

Wow I flubbed.  While Guiliani is fading, McCain is fell but is now rising.  Mitt Romney rose, but is holding steady. Hunter soared like an anvil.

50c of the MN Militia, making up for lost time while deployed to Iraq, will assassinate King Fuzzi-Wuzzi, leader of the Prarie Dogs.

Logistical and political reasons kept us from an annual Prairie Dog hunt this year

Two days later, France offers it’s unconditional surrender to 50c.

Despite the above, I assume the surrender is in the mail.

Al Gore will mumble something about Global Warming, the public will continue to not give a shit

Well he did more than mumble, but the public continues not to care, so I give myself credit.

Rosie O’Donnell will continue her very public feud with Donald Trump, by uttering “Get in my belly!”

Rosie tried to eat Trump, but his hair got lodged in her throat

North Korea will successfully test a nuclear weapon

Actually they\’ve been fairly cooperative lately on this front

Kim Jong-Il will be removed from power by China, which will be responding to fears the incident forcing Japan to militarize.

Unfortunately no.

The Homeland Security Department will continue not to build the fence authorized by Congress.

All of you who are surprised, raise your hands.  While they claim they\’ve built 70 or 80 miles of fencing what most people don\’t realize is that all but seven of that is the type of fencing you see on farms to separate fields.

The MN Militia will welcome 3 new members to it’s ranks

We did welcome three honorary junior members this year.  Congrats to all involved.

There will be a major terrorist attack in Europe

I hate being right

My parents will finally get broadband internet. And I will receive no fewer that three calls next year asking me to come over and fix their internet.

Nope….no broadband, the 20th century continues to elude them.

President Bush will offer a cost-saving plan to outsource our national security to Mexican authorities

I\’m assuming it\’s tied up in committee

The Freedom Tower, built on the site of the 9/11 attacks, will still not be completed six years after the attack

Anyone surprised?

Bloggers will continue to ask “Who is Jamal Hussein?”, as the AP continues to stonewall on identifying it’s mysterious lone source

Actually he was identified early this year, and as a result most of the stories cited by him have been thrown into serious doubt.

The New York Times will continue to get away with endangering national security by publishing secret information

Anyone surprised??

Control of Iraq will be handed over to Iraqi forces in late 2007

Not quite, large portions of it have been, but a few key areas are still holding out.

Several hurricanes will hit the US this year, none approaching Katrina level devestation. Regardless, Democrats everywhere will cite what damage they do do as continuing failures of the Bush administration.

Several did, however, they weren\’t necessary as apparently we still have to tolerate bitching about Katrina.

Bush will tell Rove to stop playing with his Acme “Kill Darkies” Weather Machine.

He did, and Rove was so annoyed by this he resigned.

A member of the Northern Alliance will make it to Keegans….maybe

Mitch finally did…although I think only because he called a meeting of a few member of the vast right wing conspiracy to go over our Rove-approved talking points.

There will be a major oil discovery in Israel

Damn

With the exception of a few extreme members, the Democrats will NOT attempt to impeach Bush.  This will send the Kos and the rest of the nutroots into a foaming-at-the-mouth frenzy of biblical proportions.

Pretty much spot on.

Heh, I think I got about 50-50, which considering most of my predictions stemmed from cynical sarcastic bitching, is pretty damn good.

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