EckerNet.Com

Well I typically make yearly predictions, and I made some for 2007, let’s see how I did.

Renewed claims of the sky is falling will be taken up again the next time Bush promotes absolutely anything. Once again, the sky will not fall. This trend will not end.

Sadly very true

After virtually every instance of especially bad weather, liberal moonbat pundits will assume an “I told you so” aura as they decry “scientifically proven” global warming and how it’s all Bush’s fault.

Well I’ll give myself half credit, we had pretty good weather, but this still didn’t stop the enviroweenies from claiming that global warming would cause catastrophically bad weather.  Mother Nature continued to demonstrate a sense of humor by causing a snow storm every time there was a global warming rally.

Microsoft products will continue to suck

Oh god yes….they suck, I have been the unfortunate victim too many times this year.

Learned Foot will use the word “boobies” in no less than 300 posts.

I think it’s fairly safe to say this was the case, although “poop” and/or “bacon” seems to be his latest favorite.  Fortunately, he doesn’t use them in the same sentence much.

I will finally win the Rock Solid In The Blogosphere Award!

Well one wasn’t awarded in 2007, so no I did not.  I think half of the selection committee died or something.

There will be another Supreme Court vacancy. Democrats will proclaim Bush as a “divider” if he nominates a replacement to the right of Jimmy Carter.

There was no vacancy, and looks not to be one yet this year.

The Post-MILF festivities will bring open warfare between Learned Foot and his neighbors

Undeclared maybe, but certainly short of open warfare.

A giant fenarglebeast, weighing approximately one metric fuck-ton, will appear and threaten all of mankind. What exactly a fenarglebeast is, and how much it weighs will never be satisfactorily explained.

Yes, Hillary made an appearance

Out of nowhere an army of rabid flying wombats will emerge and defeat the dreaded fenarglebeast, although the city of Paris will be wiped out when the fenarglebeast farts. Everyone considers it a win-win situation. Officials at EckerNet.Com will refuse to comment on the wombat army.

Wombat army breeding fell behind schedule due to lack of wombat porn.  And if that sentence doesn’t net me the weirdest google hits ever, I don’t know what will.  Look for me to be the number one google hit for “wombat porn”.

President Bush will officially announce his candidacy for the Presidency of Mexico. As part of his announcement, he will cite his longstanding advocacy for the welfare of Mexicans everywhere.

Officially no, unofficially yes.

McCain and Guiliani will fade as desirable candidates for the 2008 Republican nomination for President. Mitt Romney and Duncan Hunter will emerge as the preferred candidates

Wow I flubbed.  While Guiliani is fading, McCain is fell but is now rising.  Mitt Romney rose, but is holding steady. Hunter soared like an anvil.

50c of the MN Militia, making up for lost time while deployed to Iraq, will assassinate King Fuzzi-Wuzzi, leader of the Prarie Dogs.

Logistical and political reasons kept us from an annual Prairie Dog hunt this year

Two days later, France offers it’s unconditional surrender to 50c.

Despite the above, I assume the surrender is in the mail.

Al Gore will mumble something about Global Warming, the public will continue to not give a shit

Well he did more than mumble, but the public continues not to care, so I give myself credit.

Rosie O’Donnell will continue her very public feud with Donald Trump, by uttering “Get in my belly!”

Rosie tried to eat Trump, but his hair got lodged in her throat

North Korea will successfully test a nuclear weapon

Actually they’ve been fairly cooperative lately on this front

Kim Jong-Il will be removed from power by China, which will be responding to fears the incident forcing Japan to militarize.

Unfortunately no.

The Homeland Security Department will continue not to build the fence authorized by Congress.

All of you who are surprised, raise your hands.  While they claim they’ve built 70 or 80 miles of fencing what most people don’t realize is that all but seven of that is the type of fencing you see on farms to separate fields.

The MN Militia will welcome 3 new members to it’s ranks

We did welcome three honorary junior members this year.  Congrats to all involved.

There will be a major terrorist attack in Europe

I hate being right

My parents will finally get broadband internet. And I will receive no fewer that three calls next year asking me to come over and fix their internet.

Nope….no broadband, the 20th century continues to elude them.

President Bush will offer a cost-saving plan to outsource our national security to Mexican authorities

I’m assuming it’s tied up in committee

The Freedom Tower, built on the site of the 9/11 attacks, will still not be completed six years after the attack

Anyone surprised?

Bloggers will continue to ask “Who is Jamal Hussein?”, as the AP continues to stonewall on identifying it’s mysterious lone source

Actually he was identified early this year, and as a result most of the stories cited by him have been thrown into serious doubt.

The New York Times will continue to get away with endangering national security by publishing secret information

Anyone surprised??

Control of Iraq will be handed over to Iraqi forces in late 2007

Not quite, large portions of it have been, but a few key areas are still holding out.

Several hurricanes will hit the US this year, none approaching Katrina level devestation. Regardless, Democrats everywhere will cite what damage they do do as continuing failures of the Bush administration.

Several did, however, they weren’t necessary as apparently we still have to tolerate bitching about Katrina.

Bush will tell Rove to stop playing with his Acme “Kill Darkies” Weather Machine.

He did, and Rove was so annoyed by this he resigned.

A member of the Northern Alliance will make it to Keegans….maybe

Mitch finally did…although I think only because he called a meeting of a few member of the vast right wing conspiracy to go over our Rove-approved talking points.

There will be a major oil discovery in Israel

Damn

With the exception of a few extreme members, the Democrats will NOT attempt to impeach Bush.  This will send the Kos and the rest of the nutroots into a foaming-at-the-mouth frenzy of biblical proportions.

Pretty much spot on.

Heh, I think I got about 50-50, which considering most of my predictions stemmed from cynical sarcastic bitching, is pretty damn good.

The Thompson Blogburst managed to accomplish it’s goal to raise enough money to keep the Substance ad running in Iowa all the way through caucuses.

Bogus Gold is back….for real this time….or so he claims.

So check it out.  Bogus Gold, now with 100% less absence, 63% less impotence and 38% more irrelevance.

A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.

[H/T : Blame 50c]

UPDATE : It worked….the Substance ad is now airing in Iowa.

Spreading the word….because frankly it about sums up my feelings on the matter:

Dear Friends,

I am writing to ask for your help.

All of us know the long odds faced by Fred Thompson in his efforts to win the GOP nomination for president. I’m sure you are all aware that Fred has undertaken pretty much of a do or die bus tour of Iowa in order to finish strongly in the Caucuses on January 3.

Many of you have already taken steps to support the Thompson campaign in a tangible way by placing fundraising widgets on your sidebar and writing about the campaign. In this way, each of us alone has done whatever we can to support Fred in his efforts.

But at this, the 11th hour of the campaign in Iowa, I think it would be a very effective fundraising tool if as many of us as possible were to participate in an old-fashioned Blogburst, writing a post asking readers to donate to the campaign while embedding a fundraising widget in the post for convenience.

I propose Thursday, December 27 for the Blogburst. If you have an email list, I would urge you to ask your subscribers to donate. If you know of other bloggers who support Fred, please forward this email and ask them to participate as well.

Not expecting a “money bomb” but even a few tens of thousands of dollars would help, I’m sure. Given the number of readers represented in the blogs listed here (where I got all of your email addresses) and your cooperation, I feel confident we can give a real shot in the arm to the campaign.

I don’t think any of us believe that our endorsement of Thompson alone means that much in the long run. But working together, uniting for one day and speaking with one voice, I think we could make a significant impact on Fred’s chances in Iowa. After all, when the candidate you support rolls the dice as Fred has, the least we can do is back his play to the best of our ability.

No need to respond to this email. Just do it.

Merry Christmas,

Rick Moran
Right Wing Nuthouse
If you are a blogger who supports Fred, please participate in this Blogburst. If you know of a blogger who supports Fred, I urge you to contact them and ask them to participate.

For me, it comes down to this. If Fred isn’t nominated, I doubt very much that I will show up at the polls next November. Not to punish the party but simply because there is no one in the race who would be representing my views or who I could in good conscience, support for president.

This is why despite his long shot status, every effort must be made to help Fred Thompson continue the campaign by contributing to his efforts in Iowa. I’m going to give on Thursday and I hope you do too.

Contribute if you can, otherwise help spread the word…

[H/T : RWN]

Looks like even Achmed the Dead Terrorist celebrates Christmas

[H/T : Ace]

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and hopefully you’ll be able to spend this time of year celebrating with your family.

Best wishes to all.

….and it has killed the damn white rabbit.

Windows XP arrived in the mail today. Excellent! I can finally upgrade Vista to XP!!!

What the duece?!?

Blue screens of death, undetectable hard drives, chaos!

Had a “nice” chat with support. Basically once Vista is on your harddrive it will NOT let go and will not let older versions of Windows on board. It does not allow older Windows to install over it. Basically I was given the following options by the support persons

1. Buy a new harddrive
2. Take current harddrive to a computer store and have them write 0s across the whole thing (basically wipe out the drive).
3. Please stop yelling profanities at the support people
4. Yes questioning their parents marriage is considered a profanity
5. No they will not, mostly because the act I’m suggesting is probably not physically possible
6. No they won’t do that either, as that would constitute animal abuse
7. Yeah, they’re not gonna do that, breaking the laws of physics isn’t covered under my warranty
8. Ok that’s just mean
9. Again, they won’t do that, because their posterior is just not large enough for that activity

I love new PCs

Did I mention Vista sucks?

Back in November, I attended the Open House regarding the Cedar Avenue Corridor development ideas, and later wrote about the sheer stupidity I found there. Well recently the Apple Valley City Council announced it’s unanimous decision to recommend option two, which I nicknamed the Suburban Highway. While I wasn’t entirely happy with any of the options, at least they didn’t pick the Death Star Trench option.

Even more amazing is that there appears to be at least one person with at least some level of intelligence. They refrained from endorsing the entire option two, because some of the grade improvements that are included in the plan would require overpasses. Overpasses that would hurt local businesses. Wow, imagine that. A City Council listening to it’s residents….will wonders never cease?

And then apparently there was at least one person, to which the blindingly obvious occurred:

“It makes no sense to try to make changes to the roadway in Apple Valley south of 138th Street unless we first figure out a way to handle the bottleneck that occurs north of 138th Street (to Diffley Road in Eagan), particularly where Cedar Avenue goes from two lanes to three lanes,” said [City Administrator Tom] Lawell.

Imagine that, it doesn’t make sense to make improvement to the road, if you don’t fix problems that already exist. That….well that makes sense. Clearly this man has no business in government.

And it appears it also occurred to the folks at the city that they had no earthly way of paying for any of this and therefore none of it was going to happen any time soon. Of course they discussed that at the same meeting they passed yet another property tax levy.

However, as far as end results go it’s not a horrible end. They aren’t going to cut the city in half and they realize their idea still stinks to high heaven. Plus in all liklihood, nothing is likely to ever really happen. They don’t have funding, but mostly because they are now going to submit the idea for environmental review. That’ll tie up the process until I get my flying car.

ROFL!!

Exit questions :

1) Why the hell does she have a head of lettuce pinned to her blouse?

2) When does she bring back the Don King style haircut?

[H/T : HA]