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Ok so in the very immediate future, I plan on having the following things replace on my house siding, roof, fascia, gutters, etc.  I figured, hmmm, probably a good time to do windows too yeah?  And since I\’m doing the siding as well, I can do new construction windows too! Great, they seal up better, it\’s a whole new frame the whole works.

Call a few people in, they quote me prices.  I laugh at them and kick them out.  I call a few more people in, I laugh at most of them, one of them I like.  Oh joy!  Until the phone call today.

Yeah, turns out new construction isn\’t gonna work.  See front of my house is the four windows for the four bedrooms.  Upper bedrooms have 30×46 and lower have 30×36 inch windows, all of them sliders.  My original plan would be put in new construction windows, sliders, and then do a happy dance because new windows are worth that…or at least they should be with as much as the frigging things cost!

Small problem though apparently as Minnesota, the state where nothing is allowed, intervened.  Apparently there is a rule, that for bedrooms you need to have egress windows.  Which are defined as having an openable area 5.7 square feet, with a minimum of 20 inches width and 24 inches height.  Unfortunately, sliders or double-hung, you\’re cutting the window in half one direction so my windows no longer qualify.

Come on people, my house doesn\’t have that now!!  I\’m trying to make improvements here (read: higher property value (read: higher taxes (read: more money for you jackasses to spend))), to hell with your silly rules!!   And honestly, let\’s examine this law.  Ok I understand the need for feel-good legislation, but I\’m afraid I have to revoke the need for this on the grounds of stupiditititty*.

Have you visited the American public lately?? Tell you what, let\’s go into a restaurant, or a store, any one, you name the place.  Now are you telling me even half of the people in that place would fit through a 21 inch opening??  Yeah, I thought so.  If you\’re gonna go and declare sizes like this with the interest of saving lives, you may as well dictate that every house needs a friggin garage door on the side of every bedroom.

Grumble grumble grumble.  Okay I\’m only slightly annoyed at this point.  Then the magical windows guys try to cheer me up by telling me all is not lost.  If I just do replacement windows instead, the laws no longer apply.

WHAT?!?  So the state is only interested in saving the life of people who put in new construction windows?? If your focus is to try to make houses safe in a fire, isn\’t that a rather stupid loophole.  I understand it\’s probably not a loophole, it was probably meant to only apply to newly constructed houses, and you\’re letting existing houses get by on the old rules….except you f-ed it up.  Your loophole sucks.  And NO I am no encouraging you to close said loophole (because I\’m gonna have to use it!).  But it just further cements the fact that there was really no good reason for this rule to begin with, other than to annoy me and generally force me to write a rather rambling and idiotic post to compensate for the fact that I didn\’t really feel like bitching about immigration tonite and didn\’t have the heart to giggle at Vick.

* Yes this is a word I just made up but I like it.  Originally it was just a mistype, but then I noticed it had \”titty\” in it so I\’m keeping it.  You don\’t like it? Tough.