You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

« | Home | »

Triumph This…

July 31st, 2007 by Kevin

Via KingDavid, I notice an article in the Red Star, entitled \”The Triumph Of The Squirrels\”. Basically it\’s a story about how squirrels own us and are destined to take over the world and there isn\’t a damn thing you can do about it. Part of the problem, the story states is that there is nothing you can do to kill them.

Horse Hockey

I\’ve got a tried and true method, that while not 100% successful, is 100% fatal to squirrels if I get it to work right.

  1. I see squirrels hiding bread in my grill again.
    • Ok side note here….if I ever find out who in my area is feeding dinner rolls to these varmints I swear I\’m gonna stick that bread roll so far up your rear, they\’ll be naming new brands of yeast infections after you.
  2. Open door and let my dog, Sadie, out
  3. Dog seeing said squirrels sprints after it…although usually doesn\’t catch them
  4. Squirrel terrified by the dog runs up tree and out onto branches, and from branches onto the powerline in my backyard
  5. If sufficiently terrified, the squirrel also trys to crawl into the transformer in my backyard
  6. Power shorts out as transformer grills squirrel to a very well done state and it falls to the ground

I mean sure, I lose power for a short time, but I\’m usually too busy trying to convince my dog that the squirrel is not a play toy to notice that.

Otherwise it works great, and I snag a minimum of one squirrel a year via this method.

Email This Post Email This Post | Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Ecker Exploits | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. The Lady Logician Says:

    The worlds best border collie (patent pending) has managed to catch enough of the varmits that they pretty much avoid our yard. Now she is after the bunnies that keep trying to nest in our woodpile….. πŸ˜†


  2. The Lady Logician Says:

    Oh and we have a neighbor that puts CORN out for them. Obviously, given the placing of the food, he is working in cahoots with the worlds best border collie because it brings the critters oh so close…. πŸ˜†


  3. drunkguy Says:

    Purhapes if the world wasn’t so concerned about firearms, a guy could get away using a BB gun to reduce thier numbers… While the dog chasing the squirl bit is effective in chasing them from the yard, it doesn’t help for the ones that have a nest right out side my bedroom window… a pelet gun would. a couple pumps remove mommy from existance at the right time of the year, and suddenly i have about 200 less squirles in my yard, and still plenty left over for the hound to chase…