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I’ve said before that I used to claim “I’m not a Republican, I’m a conservative”, and lately it’s been frequently pointed out that this is a stupid statement to make considering I hold a position in my Senate District and I’m doing quite a bit of volunteer work for GOP causes.  I agree with those observations, but the past couple weeks are a perfect reason why I have made that statement in the past.  There are times, not terribly often, but often enough, where I am so far removed from the Republican Party on an issue that I may as well be a seperate party.

And it’s not that I’ve shifted away from conservatism, or flip-flopped or whatever, it’s that the Republican Party has gotten something so incredibly wrong that I refuse to even consider myself affiliated with them.  This immigration issue is one of them.  While the President, the RNC and most of the Republican leadership supports this piece of shit amnesty bill, virtually every conservative I know, and most I don’t, are opposed to it.

And not only does “my” party disagree with my viewpoint, but the simple act of disagreeing with them draws insults and claims of racism and bigotry from them.  What is a conservative to think???  Does he/she just pretend they didn’t really mean it and it was just a one time incident?? Or does he remember past incidents such as Harriet Miers, Dubai Ports, Immigration attempts 1, 2 and 3, Rumsfeld, etc and realize that perhaps that is how our leadership views us.

President Bush has been a one-man GOP wrecking crew his entire second term, and while most Republicans have forgiven past transgressions and looked beyond, I fear a line was crossed somewhere.  I see anonomosity and apathy that I’ve never seen before.  I see stalwart Republicans openly advocating internal rebellion.  I see a party more divided now than ever before.

I’m firmly convinced that if one of the GOP 2008 Presidential Candidates made his campaign slogan “President Bush Is A Disgrace”, he’d instantly capture a large plurality of the conservative base.  Normally that would worry me, but after being insulted and spit upon by “my” parties leadership I barely care.  I find myself strangely apathetic to 2008 Coleman race as well.  When it comes down to it both Coleman and his eventual opponent seem intent on pushing this country off the cliff, the only difference being how hard the shove is.

I just can’t see the GOP, or indeed this country, surviving this amnesty bill.  And if this amnesty bill fails, while the country may be saved, I’m convinced the damage has already been done to the GOP.  Rifts have been created that I’m not entirely certain will easily heal.  The base has so little faith and no confidence in it’s leadership.  I’m not even sure new leadership would help that.  While I’ll agree with Chief that a Sarkozy style candidate has more of a chance than anything else I’m not sure it’s anything but futile.

Congrats Bush, you’ve done what decades of Democrats could not do….destroy the GOP.  Welcome to your legacy.

I have made a discovery that will no doubt advance science by leaps and bounds by improving our understanding of human nature.

I have spent years making observations, and have conducted an obscene number of tests of my hypothesis on a variety of subjects. So I feel that my conclusions are very valid.

Here is my hypothesis:

When any Monty Python quote is used, it is physically impossible for anyone that hears the quote and knows the context to not respond with one of the following quotes.

Example 1 :

Person 1 : “She turned me into a newt”
Person 2 : “I got better”
Person 3 : “Burn her!!”

Example 2 :

Person 1 : What is the airborne velocity of an unladen swallow?
Person 2 : That depends. An African or a European swallow?

As further proof of this hypothesis I have observed entire skits/movie scenes being recited as the result of a single quote. And in one extreme case the an entire movie was recited.

I dub this the Python Dork Syndrome for what should be fairly obvious reasons.

Because of my amazing discovery I expect heaps of cash to be thrust upon me, supermodels knocking down my door, talk shows calling around the clock and a Nobel Peace Prize.

Now upon discovering this amazing find, I had noticed similar behavior in other areas. For example, the following movies should be subject to study as well.

• Caddyshack
• Airplane
• Planes, Trains and Automobiles
• Full Metal Jacket

Well from both what I personally have heard, and what others are hearing, both our Minnesota Senators are planning on voting for this piece of shit bill, although both are not publicly stating definitely one way or another. Almost certainly this is to deflect some criticism and provide them some sort of shield to hide behind.

Make sure they hear from you that you don’t appreciate them putting America (and Minnesota in particular) up for sale to foreign invaders. You might also want to remind them (Coleman especially) that in many states, efforts are already beginning to find Primary challengers for their seats. Senator Kyl already faces a challenger, as does Mitch McConnell and several PACs have announce their intentions to search for challengers for any Senator that votes for Amnesty.

The Senate returns to selling out our future on June 4th, make sure they hear from you plenty before that!!!

You can contact both our Senators at:

Sen. Klobuchar (202) 224-3244
Sen. Coleman (202) 224-5641

Some other key members to contact would be:

McConnell (KY): 202-224-2541
Lott (MS): 202-224-6253
Bennett (UT): 202-224-5444
Collins (ME): 202-224-2523
Craig (ID): 202-224-2752
Domenici (NM): 202-224-6621
Brownback (KS): 202-224-6521
McCain (AZ): 202-224-2235
Warner (VA): 202-224-2023
Kyl (AZ): 202-224-4521
Chambliss (GA): (202) 224-3521
Isakson(GA): (202) 224-3643
Dole(NC): (202) 224-6342
Burr(NC): (202) 224-3154
Alexander(TN): (202) 224-4944

Talking points:

• I am a concerned citizen of this state (if calling your senators)
• Does the Senator plan on supporting the new immigration bill?
• I oppose the Bush-Kennedy amnesty bill.
• This bill gives amnesty to illegal aliens and is wrong.
• I urge the Senator to vote NO on the bill

Also worth trying:

National Republican Senatorial Committee (202) 675-6000
Republican National Committee (202) 863-8500 (option 1)

Talking points:

• I am a concerned citizen of this country
• I oppose the Bush-Kennedy amnesty bill
• This bill gives amnesty to illegal aliens and is wrong.
• I will not be supporting any Senator for re-election that votes for the amnesty bill

On May 23rd, Senator Sessions had this to say about the Amnesty Bill….

“It is clear the people who drafted this legislation had an agenda and the agenda was not to meet the expectations of the American people.

“The agenda was to create a facade and appearance of enforcement, an appearance of toughness in some instances.

“When you get into the meat of the provisions and get into the bill and study it, tucked away here and there are laws that eviscerate and eliminate the real effectiveness of those provisions. It was carefully done and deliberately done. This is a bill that should not become law.

“It is a bill that will come back to be an embarrassment to our Members who have supported it. I wish it were not so. I know how these things happen. You do not always have time to do everything you want to do. You try to do something you think is right, but ultimately in a bill as important as this one that has tremendous impact on the future of our country and our legal system and our commitment to the rule of law, we ought to get it right. We ought not to let this one slide by. It is not acceptable to say, let’s just pass something and we will send it to the House and maybe the House of Representatives will stand up and stop it and fix it. That is not acceptable for the great Senate of the United States.”

Well said….even if I would have used stronger language.

Ok I’m sick of this shit already. The Pro-Amnesty crowd can’t seem to defend this bill on it’s merits so instead they’ve been using very childish playground tactics to defend it. I think we’ve progressed through three different stage of bullshit so far.

For the sake of brevity, from this point on, instead of amnesty advocate I’m gonna use….oh “Asshead”. And for anti-amnesty I’m gonna use….oh, “Patriot”. And if you so much as utter that I’m questioning your patriotism, I will tear out your kidneys and beat you with them. I’m questioning your intelligence asshead.

Stage 1

Asshead : This isn’t amnesty
Patriot : Actually it is because………………….
Asshead : No it isn’t.
Patriot : Well yeah, I just explained it, you see…………………………
Asshead : Is not
Patriot : Ok I’ll make this simpler……………………………
Asshead : Not amnesty
Patriot : I really hate you.

Stage 2

Asshead : RACIST!!!
Asshead : BIGOT!!!!
Asshead : Baby Killer!!!!!!
Patriot : Wait what????
Asshead : Oh sorry, wrong cue card….ah, here we go.
Asshead : XENOPHOBE!!!!!
Patriot : Well I can’t argue with baseless name-calling

Stage 3

Patriot : Ok to be blunt, this bill sucks
Asshead : I know you are but what am I!!
Patriot : Huh? No seriously, it’s awful
Asshead : Oh yeah!! Well you got a better idea???
Kevin : Well now that you mention it…..yes, yes I do.

Stage 4

To be brought to you by a White House near you any day now….

Since the Senate is now on break for the big Memorial Day weekend, they’ll be out of Washington DC and back into the part of America the rest of us live in. Where things like jobs and the law matter. So make sure your Senators get a taste of what’s on your mind as long as they are sitting on their ass doing nothing this weekend.
You can contact both the MN Senators at:

Sen. Klobuchar (202) 224-3244
Sen. Coleman (202) 224-5641

Some other key members to contact would be:

McConnell (KY): 202-224-2541
Lott (MS): 202-224-6253
Bennett (UT): 202-224-5444
Collins (ME): 202-224-2523
Craig (ID): 202-224-2752
Domenici (NM): 202-224-6621
Brownback (KS): 202-224-6521
McCain (AZ): 202-224-2235
Warner (VA): 202-224-2023
Kyl (AZ): 202-224-4521
Chambliss (GA): (202) 224-3521
Isakson(GA): (202) 224-3643
Dole(NC): (202) 224-6342
Burr(NC): (202) 224-3154
Alexander(TN): (202) 224-4944

Talking points:

• I am a concerned citizen of this state (if calling your senators)
• Does the Senator plan on supporting the new immigration bill?
• I oppose the Bush-Kennedy amnesty bill.
• This bill gives amnesty to illegal aliens and is wrong.
• I urge the Senator to vote NO on the bill

Also worth trying:

National Republican Senatorial Committee (202) 675-6000
Republican National Committee (202) 863-8500 (option 1)

Talking points:

• I am a concerned citizen of this country
• I oppose the Bush-Kennedy amnesty bill
• This bill gives amnesty to illegal aliens and is wrong.
• I will not be supporting any Senator for re-election that votes for the amnesty bill

You can also fax your Senators at NumbersUSA. And while you’re there, I’d sign up at their website, they’ll keep you updated on news and the latest information. They’ve been very good at advocating for people that disagree with just handing over our futures to illegals.

The Senate is done debating the bill for the week and now leaves for the big Memorial Day weekend. When they come back here’s one thing you should know. Today they debated an amendment which would have removed the “amnesty provision” in the bill.

Contrary to popular belief, amnesty is not delayed by “triggers”. Any illegal that wants to can simply raise their hand and say “here I am” and they get probationary Z Visa status, which as a benefit declares them legal and makes them immune to deportation. This amendment would have removed that probationary status and delayed amnesty until AFTER the infamous triggers we keep hearing about and Senators use as a shield against public pressure.

The Amendment failed 29-66. Both of Minnesota’s Senators voted with the likes of Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton by voting against the amendment.

Some other important amendments offered this week….

Dorgan Amdt. No. 1153 - Would have eliminated the guestworker program, which is a ridiculous program which will basically setup the next wave of illegal immigrants we’ll have to face. Defeated 31-64, our two Minnesota Senators voted against it.

Bingaman Amdt. No. 1169 - Reduced the number of future illegal immigrants the guest worker program lets in each year to 200,000. Passed 74-24, Klobuchar voted for it, and Coleman voted AGAINST IT!!! Nobody claimed he was the smartest man on the planet.

Dorgan Amdt. No. 1181 - Would have sunsetted the guest worker program after 5 years, which basically means that only 1 million of our next wave of illegals would be let in by us…the rest would have to sneak in. Defeated 48-49, Klobuchar voted for it, Coleman voted against it! It’s kinda sad when Klobuchar is a more reliable Senator than Coleman is.

Stay tuned for more immigration news as I try to keep you all updated.  And keep making those calls.  They are making a difference and by all reports Washington is flabbergasted by the outpouring of public opposition.  And it IS making a difference.  There were at least a couple Senators who voted for last years amnesty that have switched sides.  And several Senators we originally sided with the Amnesty crowd on this bill have seen the light.

Grumble Grumble Grumble. I’ve been tagged with a new meme…although I’ve been bitching about immigration so much lately I could use a change.

Because of my extreme youth (heh, that’s the story I’m sticking with!), my “old age” is so far in the future predictions should be barely comprehendable. And as you all know that is my expertise!!

1. Instead of being the 20-something grouchy neighbor yelling at the kids to get off his lawn, I’ll be the old grouchy neighbor yelling at the kids to get off his lawn.
2. My firearm collection will reach cataclysmic proportion, and will collapse upon itself forming a black hole in my gun cabinet.
3. I will start selling tickets to tour my black hole, admission will be free but I ask that you leave behind your credit card as a deposit.
4. The aging members of the MN Militia, in a severe bout of senility, will accidentally invade Brazil and declare it their private hunting sanctuary
5. Upon hearing the news, France surrenders….twice for good measure.
6. Having cured all other diseases, medical science turns it’s attention towards liberalism
7. Breaking an 80 year streak, MN Militia member DrunkGuy will briefly sober up enough to comment, “When did we leave the bar?”, before tackling the nearest waitress and demanding alcohol. When later questioned by police, he will be heard to utter “boobs”.
8. The final chant of “Bush Lied, People Died” will be uttered…
9. We will finally get the flying cars we’ve been promised!!
10. Having torched every car on the continent, discontent French Muslim youths will turn to burning wood. Greenpeace declares war on France.
11. France surrenders again….
12. A popular coup will bring democracy to Russia…..again.
13. The enforcement measures promised us by illegal immigration amnesty advocates will still not be implemented.

Things are starting to look up, but it’s only because Washington is received so much feedback they can’t even pretend that they are representing us. I realize many of you have already called at least once, but do it again. If our Senators see a drop in public pressure they’ll interpret that as a swing of public opinion.

Keep up the good work. According to everything I’m hearing, seeing, reading, etc you ARE making a difference with your calls.

You can contact both our Senators at:

Sen. Klobuchar (202) 224-3244
Sen. Coleman (202) 224-5641

Some other key members to contact would be:

McConnell (KY): 202-224-2541
Lott (MS): 202-224-6253
Bennett (UT): 202-224-5444
Collins (ME): 202-224-2523
Craig (ID): 202-224-2752
Domenici (NM): 202-224-6621
Brownback (KS): 202-224-6521
McCain (AZ): 202-224-2235
Warner (VA): 202-224-2023
Kyl (AZ): 202-224-4521
Chambliss (GA): (202) 224-3521
Isakson(GA): (202) 224-3643
Dole(NC): (202) 224-6342
Burr(NC): (202) 224-3154
Alexander(TN): (202) 224-4944

Talking points:

• I am a concerned citizen of this state (if calling your senators)
• Does the Senator plan on supporting the new immigration bill?
• I oppose the Bush-Kennedy amnesty bill.
• This bill gives amnesty to illegal aliens and is wrong.
• I urge the Senator to vote NO on the bill

Also worth trying:

National Republican Senatorial Committee (202) 675-6000
Republican National Committee (202) 863-8500 (option 1)

Talking points:

• I am a concerned citizen of this country
• I oppose the Bush-Kennedy amnesty bill
• This bill gives amnesty to illegal aliens and is wrong.
• I will not be supporting any Senator for re-election that votes for the amnesty bill

You can also fax your Senators at NumbersUSA.  And while you’re there, I’d sign up at their website, they’ll keep you updated on news and the latest information.  They’ve been very good at advocating for people that disagree with just handing over our futures to illegals.  And they’re just about to kick off a huge blitz, so if you have some extra cash, drop them a donation like I did today.

Commenting about the immigration bill…

“I promised the President today that I wouldn’t say anything bad about … this piece of shit bill.”

- House Minority Leader John Boehner