I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned

« | Home | »

Class, I Have Your Gender Assignments

April 24th, 2007 by Kevin

You gotta love when columnists accidentally reveal their all too obvious bias\’ in their \”news\” articles. For example, take this from an article about a \”transgendered\” chick that was trying to run for Prom King at her High School.

The would-be king, Cinthia Covarrubias, considers herself transgender, a term for people whose gender identity or expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.

You get that all you public school graduates?? We aren\’t actually born a certain gender according to whether we have a penis or not. We\’re \”assigned\” a gender. I\’m envisioning this complex quota system, and if you\’re assigned \”male\” they take a state-issued penis and stitch it on, in an amazing feat of cosmetic surgery. How this might have been accomplished back before modern surgical procedures is not yet known.

However, in the utopian world of liberals this is roughly how I see the modern delivery room working

Mom-To-Be : ARGH!!!! John I\’m gonna kill you!!! You did this to me you bastard!!!

Dad-To-Be : Sorry dear. Now breath, push, go team!

Doctor : Ahhhh, there we go….your baby.

Mom : What is it doc??

Doctor : I\’m not sure yet, I have to consult my chart

Dad : Don\’t suppose I could slip you a fiver for a son eh??

Doctor : I\’m sure that could be arranged. For a ten spot I\’ll make sure it\’s a big one

Dad : Sure thing

[ Doc pulls a government-approved penis out of cold storage ]

Doctor : Here we go, now let\’s get this monster attached

[ Hospital Administrator rushes into room ]

Administrator : Doc, did you assign their baby yet???

Doc : Well, sorta, I just started stitching this thing on

Administrator : Damn! First of all we\’re already at our government approved quota of boys. Plus, I just got a call, our penis delivery truck overturned in Pittsburgh. More dicks on the road than usual in that city now.

Doc : Well shit, what do you want me to do?? I already got this thing almost attached.

Administrator : Well, could we make it into a hermaphrodite? At least we don\’t go over out quota then.

Doc : Sure thing!

[Mom and Dad faint ]

You know, one almost wishes this whole \”gender assignment\” thing was true. Then under China\’s \”one child\” policy, families wouldn\’t have found it tempting to kill their daughters. They could have just asked the hospital to \”assign\” them a son instead. How convenient.

Email This Post Email This Post | Print This Post Print This Post
Posted in Damn Dirty Hippies | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. Basil's Blog » Blog Archive » Blogrolling 2007-04-24 Says:

    […] (EckerNet) finds that sex is an […]