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The Holy Family announced today that they have decided to extend their 21st Century worldwide tour. They have decided to announce another stop in Crystal City, Texas.

“Well the people on the US-Mexico border have really had a tough eternity so far“, said lead singer God, “so we decided we’d give them something to look forward to and enjoy“.

Reports are the added appearance is in the form of a tree, just outside of San Antonio, TX. Crazed fans from the surrounding area have been flocking to the site to get tickets.

When asked to comment on the venue, lead guitarist Jesus Christ explained, “Well usually Mary is the one that sets it all up, but she’s appeared so many times lately, we figured we could give her a break, and I’d show up instead. I really haven’t dealt with wood much since those days with Pontius, so I figured what the heck!” Although, it should be noted that Jesus has actually appeared as a tree in Wisconsin in 2002.

Delighted at the new venue and choice of personnel, drummer Virgin Mary exclaimed, “Yeah, if I have to appear as another piece of food, I don’t know what I’ll do. It’s hard enough for a girl to watch her figure without being tempted“.

So if you’re interested in seeing the Holy Family in action, please visit Crystal City, TX. For reserve tickets, please call the Vatican, presumably their switch board is infalliable.

The showing is presumably going to be a long one, since the tree in question has been there for years before anyone noticed a thing.

Previous performances by the Holy Family :

• Highway underpass in Chicago
• A pretzel in Nebraska
• Toast in Florida
• A marble wall in Ghana
• A fence post in Australia
• A tree stump in Wisconsin
• An office window in Florida
• Wood paneling in San Diego
• A rock in Seabrook
• A frying pan in Texas
• A tree in Wisconsin
• A wall in Pittsburgh
• A cloud in Florida
• A brick in North Carolina
• Sheet metal in Conneticut
• A wall in Detroit
• A tailgate in Texas
• An apartment window in Texas
• A pie in Toledo
• A fishbone in Oklahoma
• A shrimp in California
• An X-Ray in Arizona
• Hot Chocolate in Wisconsin

[Closed Circuit to Satan : You can pick up my soul between the hours of 9 am and 6:30 pm, please call in advance. Or allow 1-70 years for delivery. ]

UPDATE :  Apparently Jesus really is an amateur at booking these appearances.  Because he just overbooked himself by appearing as an oyster in Charlotte.  Vid goodness included.