Seasons Greetings
December 6th, 2006 by 
Kevin
WIth the arrival of December, tis the season, so….
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemisphere summer solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform and operating system of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
1. The greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
2. It is freely transferable with no alteration the original greeting.
3. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others.
4. It is void where prohibited by law, and
5. It is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected with the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
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2 Comments »
December 6th, 2006 at 1:48 pm
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
“Legal Disclaimer: ‘Merry Christmas’ (hereafter ‘The Greeting’)… this announcement is not intended to offend, alienate, foster hate, or be a precursor for any egregious acts (legal or illegal), thoughts, words, or deeds. ‘The Greeting’ is made only in the context in which it may be legally received, if in fact, it is received at all. It is not intended to be nor should it be, in any way, connected to any other type of greeting, real or imagined, past, present or future. No references to any persons, things, or substances, animate or inanimate, real, fictional, or otherwise should be assumed by the reader or receiver of the greeting (hereafter, ‘the greetee’). The greeting is not being made to (nor will tenders be accepted from or on behalf of) nonbelievers in ‘The Greeting’ in any jurisdiction in which making and/or accepting the greeting would violate that jurisdiction’s laws or feelings (also refer to local statutes and ordinances related to ‘The Greeting’). In any jurisdiction in which perceived ‘greeting’ is not welcomed nor agreed upon by all ‘greetees,’ then the ‘greetor’ of ‘The Greeting’ will be held harmless in this life and the next, including all issuing posterity both now and forever. ‘The Greeting’ may be made by a licensed ‘greetor’ and any liability assumed or created by the ‘greetee’ shall be the sole responsibility of said ‘greetor.’ If you have been aggrieved, offended, waylaid, parlayed, filleted, or delayed in any way, either real, imagined, or perceived by said ‘Greeting’ and/or by ‘greetor’ as the result of receiving said ‘greeting’ you can call toll free 1-800-CHRISTMAS to speak with legal counsel.”
By William Devlin, founder of the Urban Family Council in Philadelphia, first printed in First Things magazine in the December, 2004 issue.
December 9th, 2006 at 10:03 am
Merry Christmas to you, too