EckerNet.Com

First of all welcome to Minnesota. You drive us nuts with your silly losing streaks and then tease us with your occasional pulled-out-of-our-ass wins. For that we thank you.

You make us build you stadiums, for that we curse you.

However, that is not why I come before you today. I come bearing advice…because I know you\’ve been waiting for my advice.

Most of you have been in this state for quite a few seasons now. There are probably a few things you\’ve noticed. \”Minnesota Nice\” is not a myth. Minnesotans are a hardy folk. We thought the accent in \”Fargo\” was just as funny as everyone else….even if some of us actually do speak that way. And we love the outdoors.

Pay attention to that last one…because here\’s my problem. It is abso-fucking-lutely POINTLESS to plan any sort of event on one of the following:
1) Deer Hunting Opener
B) Fishing Opener
3) Pheasant Hunting Opener

Why is that?? Because at least half the state wanders off into the woods and doesn\’t come back for a few days at minimum. The other half plans \” Widow\” get-togethers. The kids of the state get dragged along by either half. So basically you cut your potential customers to the 1% of the population that hasn\’t assimilated to the Minnesota lifestyle yet.