EckerNet.Com

Ok apparently people in Minnesota are confused about what lane they should be in when driving down the highway. Here’s a general rule:

The far left lane is for passing. If you are not passing, you should not be in it.

However, I realize that’s too simplistic so here are some more detailed guidelines. If you notice the following:

People in the lane to your right are going faster than you
People in the land to your right are going the same speed as you
You are not going significantly faster than the people in the lane to the right of you

then you are in the WRONG LANE. Change lanes to the lane to the right of you. Continue process until the above conditions are no longer true.

If you notice some guy in a black SUV behind you waving his arms and generally acting like a crazy man, well….that’s me and I’m trying to tell you to move over. Thanks for your cooperation.

How did the EckerNet staff spend their Memorial Day weekend??

Seriously though, even those this holiday was officially for deceased veterans, I wish to give thanks to ALL veterans living, dead, current, former and future. Thanks for doing what you do. Special thanks goes to the MN Militia’s own service member, 50c, currently playing in the sandbox. We miss you buddy.

Every once in awhile I come across a news story where I have to wonder if the writer was intentionally try to cause panic in the reader, or was just plain ignorant of what they were writing about. I suspect both.

European jet maker Airbus is taking an unprecedented step to expand cockpit automation: onboard computers that will automatically maneuver jetliners to avoid midair collisions, without any pilot input.

Ok I presume they are referring to a variation of the TCAS-II system, designed by MITRE. That automatically monitors nearby aircraft, and notifies pilots of possible or imminent collision threats. If it detects a possible collision it warns the pilot. If it detects an imminent collision it interfaces with the TCAS system on the other aircraft and they work out a solution virtually instantaneously, and tell the pilot what action to take (usually ascend or descend) to avoid collision.

But here’s the catch, this isn’t some new skynet system. All commercial aircraft carrying more than 30 passengers within US air space have been required to have a TCAS-II system installed since 1993. Europe, Australia and China have required it since 2000. And per FAA directive, pilots have been instructed to follow the instructions of the TCAS system even if it conflicts with an air traffic controller’s directions. Since this system has been introduced, mid-air collisions have virtually disappeared….except in cases where one or both pilots ignored the instructions of their TCAS system.

So first of all, let’s not make it sound like this technology is “unprecedented”. It’s relatively mature technology and has done wonders to improve aviation safety. And really all that’s changed is the slowest and most unpredictable part of the equation is being removed….the human pilot. Think of all the time that passes while a human pilot recognizes the situation, comprehends what the computer is telling them to do and then reacts. Then consider that a human pilot may overreact placing a great degree of stress on the aircraft and possible putting the aircraft into conflict with yet another nearby aircraft.

Sorry WSJ, but this is neither a new story, nor is it overly sensational.

Well I can’t say I didn’t expect it but the Amnest Bill (S.2611) just passed by a 62-36 vote. For the Dems it was a party vote, as only 4 Democrats voted against the bill. The Republicans were split with 32 voting against it and 23 voting for it. Not exactly the super-majority that McCain was hoping for.

A majority of Republicans voted against the bill, which is what those of us who still care about enforcing the law wanted. This gives House Republicans some political cover to refuse to kneel to the Senate when they go to conference. In fact it’s probably more likely that Rep Hastert will not even appoint anyone to attend the conference committee which leaves the bill dead on its face.

Assuming the House sticks to their guns (call your Representative and let your voice be heard!), then this goose egg the Senate just laid shouldn’t amount to anything. Which is nice, because it isn’t worth anything.

The roll call of the vote is as follows…and guess what our two Minnesota Senators did. That’s alright. Sen Dayton is retiring anyway, and it saves me from having to vote for Sen. Coleman when he’s up for re-election.
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St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. ‘Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?’

‘Sure,’ replied Jesus. ‘What do I have to do?’

‘Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.’

‘Sounds easy enough. OK.’

So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, ‘What did you do for a living?’

The old man replied, ‘I was a carpenter.’

Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. ‘Did you have any family?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I had a son, but I lost him.’

Jesus leaned forward some more. ‘You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?’

‘Well, he had holes in his hands and feet.’

Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, ‘Father?’

The old man leaned forward and whispered, ‘Pinocchio?’

The Rankings Are As Follows:
Triple “I Whine Like A Child” A : 4
Dan S : 3
Aelfheld : 2
Sola-Man : 2
NightWriter : 2
Mall Diva : 2
Bobby_B : 1
Harvey : 1
spurringirl : 1
Drunkguy : 1

For this contest you get to make up your own answers!! That’s right…just pretend you’re a real life journalist and just make shit up. Post answers in the comments. They will be judged on creativity, plausibility and humor.

Question : Which wrong is this version of the A-Team setting right?

Bonus Question : Which member of the MOB does that guy have an uncanny resemblance to?

Past Contests:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16

Well the Senate voted on the motion for cloture on S.2611, also known as the Amnesty Bill. And the motion passed, which allows the Senate to end debate on the bill and move to a vote. A vote which will take place sometime on Thursday.

For some odd reason, the roll call on the vote for cloture was not posted for quite awhile, despite the fact that the vote happened at 10 am. But finally got it.

How each Senators voted is in the extended entry. And for those of you who are curious, yes BOTH of Minnesota’s senators voted with Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton by voting for cloture.
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I purposely have not been blogging much on the “progress” the Senate has been making on their amnestyimmigration reform bill S.2611. Seems like a new amendment is being passed or debated every hour and not being a full time blogger there is no way I can really cover it adequately. Plus it seems like each days amendments negates the ones that appeared the day before.

However, so far the bill seems overwhelming negative. Granted plans for a wall have been included, however, since we’re basically making illegal immigration legal, the wall is no use for us anyway. It’s like we’ve boarded up the window a burgler kept coming in through, but we left the front door standing wide open with a sign saying “Welcome. Milk and cookies are in the kitchen. Jewelry and cash are upstairs. Help youself, be honest“.

But it appears very likely that the bill will come to a vote for cloture this week. Public pressure certainly seems to have been causing some effect. Not enough yet. Avoiding cloture seems to be the best way to delay the bill to allow public pressure to build.

But the time to act is now. If you’ve called or emailed your Senator, do it again. Tell them to vote down this horrendous bill. Only calls from lots of people can help.

A few general tips though if/when you do call

Ask to talk to the aide that handles this area. Usually you don’t get to talk to your actual Senator but most likely the aide(s) that deals with this area for the Senator.

Be Nice! Don’t get angry. Don’t swear. Don’t threaten. The person on the other end will not be impressed by any of it. You need their assistance remember. They’ve already talked to hundreds of people just like you today remember.

Be concise and direct. Get to the point. State your reason for calling and how you want your Senator to act. Explain your reasons in a few sentences. Likely it’s all gonna get broken down into a statistical format anyway.

Cite bill numbers if possible. It helps them know what you’re talking about.

You will get better results if you are an actual constituent of the Senator. Ted Kennedy doesn’t even care what people in Taxachusetts thinks, why would he care what you think?

In regards to this particular issue

Explain that you’re not buy this amnesty doublespeak. McCain can call it “bananas” if he wants….but it’s still amnesty. It’ll help if they know their BS isn’t fooling anyone.

Explain that it’s going to make re-election difficult if they were one of the senators that voted for amnesty for millions of lawbreakers.

Point out that a comprehensive bill isn’t necessary. In fact, if we can’t control our borders none of the rest of it matters anyway. So controlling the borders must be the first step.

Mention that you are withholding any donations until you see satisfactory results and that amnesty is not satisfactory.

Good luck….and since it will likely come to a vote before the end of the week, today is definitely your day to make your calls. Yesterday if possible.

Wow, blogger extraordinaire, EckerNet rival and local drunk Learned Foot has decided to hang up his keyboard and call it quits. Rumors are because of a certain jerkstore.

Those of you that have ever read KAR know he runs a great blog….as evidenced by the fact that I’ve hard to replace several monitors as a result of his posts. His constants spats with Nihilist keeps the MOB interesting and prevents us from all breaking into a giant group hug. His occasional posts of accounting porn keep at least one of my readers in a good mood, for which I am eternally thankful.

So here’s the plan….everyone email Learned Foot and tell him to stop being a pansy and get off his ass and set the wrong things right. Question his manhood if necessary. Ridicule his softball skills. Point out that a foot is a pretty ugly piece of the human anatomy. Debate whether he is actually “Learned” or merely “has access to Google”.

I’m sure a bunch of abusive and downright inappropriate emails will set the boy straight and he’ll be blogging before the week is out.

Until then EckerNet imposes trade sanctions on The Kool-Aid Report, and as a result I will be unable to give him his 6-pack of beer as a result of losing our bet.

Well we managed to finished everything up in about 9 hours with minimal drama. Although I don’t think anything would have equaled the drama that District 6 insists on going through. I was originally an alternate but was seated almost immediatly as half my Senate District delegates were not in attendance.

Once the initial pleasantries were over, Harold Shudlick got up to get his speech for his continuing attempt at the nomination for Senate. This was perhaps the best job I’ve seen him do in giving a speech. His usual dry awkward halting style was slightly less dry, awkward and halting…until he launched it what is apparently the meat of his campaign. That the power-that-be don’t want him running. Probably his best job so far, but it’s still hard to imagine this guy out on the campaign trail.

Sue Jeffers made an appearance in her appeal for the Republican nomination for governor. There was a bit of drama eventually as an anonymous individual started handing out anti-Jeffers flyers as soon as she hit the stage. This individual was never identified. And as soon as Jeffers finished speaking there were a line of people at the microphones waiting to protest her presence. In some cases, protesting her basic existance.

Sec of State Mary Kiffmeyer also spoke. The first time I’ve heard her speak, and I was pretty impressed at how good of a speaker she really is.

Neal Kennedy made an appearance for his brother, Mark, who was apparently too busy watching one of his kids graduate to attend our convention. You’d think the man would have his priorities straight.

Ron Carey made his usual speech.

Lt. Gov Molnau was also in attendance and gave a speech in support of Governor Pawlenty, who was apparently busy babysitting the legislature. She promised they’d be done with work by the time we go to church in the morning.

Rep Chris Gerlach (State 37A Representative…my district) gave a speech about the Minnesota Academy for Conservative Leadership that he’s part of. He implored anyone even remotely interested in seeking office one day to attend. Basically as part of an effort to build an educated and skilled grassroots conservative team.

Of course the highlight was the presentation of John Kline. Begun with a rather humorous rendition of the threat of an Imperial March of Democrats, John Kline emerges as our savior. As he had no challengers for the endorsement, there was a definite air of celebration.

John Kline was introduced by his wife Vicky, who closed out her speech with something to the effect of “and I feel great to be amongst people who agree with me when I say ‘Build the damn fence already’ despite what our President says”. The effect on the room was absolutely electric. Shouts and whistles and applause erupted.

Vicky Kline’s introduction segued nicely into John Klines speech. Which, while he opened with other topics, was definitely highlighting immigration as it’s primary focus. Now I know I’ve been hitting this topic alot on this blog (to excess according to some), and I realize many will consider me a bit of an extremist on that topic. However, sitting and listening to Kline talk about immigration and the response of the room, I almost felt outclassed by the degree of passion many had about the issue. In fact, the informal motto for the rest of the convention was “Build the fence already!”.

I get the definite impression that my thoughts and feelings on the issue are definitely reflective of the conservative base. And while nobody would outright state it, I got the impression of an underlying resentment of Bush’s stance on the issue.

In the end I was definitely impressed with Kline’s speech, and felt downright motivated by the end, as did most of the audience. Hopefully that translates into success for Kline against his “opponent” Coleen “Col. Klink” Rowley.

Afternoon was dedicated to resolutions, which were an absolute mess. It’s a good thing the public doesn’t see this process or they’d never trust us to pick candidates. Although from those I’ve talked to that have been “privileged” enough to witness the DFL’s process, it’s even worse. Still I couldn’t help but think there has got to be a better way. I don’t know it, but we spent more time explained what we were trying to do rather than actually doing it.

In the end, we got through all our resolutions and then spent about a half hour conducting additional business, which mostly consisted of people submitting motions to pat each other on the back. I was a little afraid the convention was going to break into a group hug and start slapping each other on the ass or something.

I had no problem seconding the motion of one of the delegates nearby me when he shouted out a motion to adjourn.