EckerNet.Com

Lately it\’s been the fashionable thing to question blogger\’s motives and imply that they are on the take. These stupid inquiries seem to take place every couple months in most blogging circles. Now I haven\’t been directly challenged but since I lovehate a challege, I thought I\’d deal with it half-assed now to fend off direct inquiry later.

Not to imply that these line of questions are stupid and juvenile. I mean I understand how you would assume that every blogger is on the take. I mean not just anyone can sign up for a free Blogger account. And God knows we don\’t write our own stuff, you gotta pay people for that! Personally I use midgets smuggled from the Galopagos Islands and a pigmy monkey imported from Atlantis. Yeah it\’s cheap and the monkey is more likely to fling poo than write a blog entry but then so do most of my friends so I can\’t really hold it against him.

So certainly the piles of capital necessary to start and keep a blog running have to come from someplace right? You couldn\’t be more correct. So that is why for the first time I am disclosing the sources of income necessary to run EckerNet.Com so that you may judge my motives for yourself.

The title bar was bought with the bribe money I received from Karl Rove to convince me to keep quiet about the fact that Bin Laden is actually a paid actor from Brooklyn.

The rotating banner of quotes is funded by auctioning off the left kidney of Iraqi schoolchildren.

My EckerNet Super-Cool Exciting Photo Contests were previously funded with the proceeds of the oil we stole from Iraq. That\’s running out so in the future it will be funded by selling the blood of our soldiers, which I get a better return on anyway.

Staff is paid (less than minimum wage) via the dividends from my Halliburton stock.

Content is provided free of charge via my daily \”Official Republican Talking Points Newsletter\”.

Left sidebar was developed using all the money illegal immigrants have contributed to our economy, yet haven\’t recouped in services. Yeah….it cost that much!! Expensive little buggers.

Right sidebar was developed with the money I was paid by the Republican Party to assasinate Wellstone.

The cost of booze is covered by stealing foodstamps from the poor and generally exploiting various minorities.

Cost of more booze is covered by Duke Cunningham and Jack Abramhoff.

Yet more booze is paid for by the \”Save Cynthia McKinney\’s Hair Foundation\”.

Beer is paid for by selling blended puppy shakes to Glenn Reynolds.

\”Entertainment\” costs are covered by the Zionist conspiracy.

Resulting paternity suits from said \”entertainment\” are settled with the money that should have paid for more body armor for our troops.

Black ops run by EckerNet.Com have been funded by selling yellowcake to Canada.

So now you know how EckerNet.Com is funded. And since I\’m a greedy conservative I\’m always willing to take more money regardless of the soure since I also have no ethics to worry about. So let me know if you\’re interested, I\’m off for a back alley meeting with the Illuminati.