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Harvey of Bad Example (my drunken blog-uncle-in-law-eight-times-removed) has seen fit to force another meme on me. This one is apparently entitled \”12 Things Meme\” which is awfully clever considering it has 12 questions…which may or may not be a coincidence.

1: Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?

Well I\’m always a big fan of explosions and things blowing up in my movies. And really, what good is an explosion in black and white?? I mean that\’s gonna make it pretty hard to see the bad guy liquified right?

2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?

Interior decorating. Really any type of decorating. Actually we could just sum it up as anything that is intended to make other things appear more appealing.

3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?

CDs. Tapes and Records don\’t look as cool when you put them in the microwave. Seriously.

4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going … Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?

I would take the money and then push Al Franken on a plane to Tehran, lock the door and run. I\’m usually not that cruel to other cultures, but Iran has had it coming lately. At the very least we can then claim Iran has WMDs (Wacko Masquerading as a Dumbass).

5: Seriously, what do you consider the world\’s most pressing issue now?

Why the world hasn\’t realized what an incredibly cool guy I am. Which ranks right ahead of the cultural clash between radical Islam and the West, amongst important world issues.

6: How would you rectify the world\’s most pressing issue?

Man, if I were that smart you\’d think I\’d be sitting here blogging for free??

7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?

Should of doubled down on that 11.

8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?

I\’d go back and have a beer with the Founding Fathers, whereupon I would explain the horrors of taxes, socialism, the nanny state, and Democrats.

9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole\’ Opry –Which do you choose?

Which ever one serves alcoholic beverages. Because neither sounds that appealing.

10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you\’d like to solve?

How the hell Jimmy Carter managed to get elected as president.

11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?

Thomas Sowell. The man is an incredibly writer, able to boil incredibly complex subjects down into something you can actually sit down and read.

What would I serve?? Well he better like steak. Rare.

12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky — what\’s the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?

I\’ve rarely let the idea of heaven or hell stop me, so probably whatever I was about to do anyway. Which is a pretty tame and boring answer, isn\’t it? Um, coitus.

Now I get to inflict this pain upon others.

I tag Uncle Ben for being French and for posting the indecency that is cockatiel porn

I tag the axe-wield maniac otherwise known as the Mall Diva.

And I tag Cathy in the Wright for not showing up to Keegan often enough.