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Yeah, the classic meme….a survey. Not only a survey but an absolutely useless one that reveals nothing of importance but fills alot of space that I’d otherwise have to fill with someone quasi-rationale. Well I’ll be damned if I’m gonna participate in something stupid like that.

So…..here are my answers:

Where do you live?
Apple Valley, MN

With whom?
Me, myself, and my dog

What’s your coffeehouse/coffeeshop?
Don’t drink coffee…and if I did it wouldn’t be with the hippies at the coffeehouse.

What’s your Sunday breakfast spot?
Pffft, please. Like I get up in time for breakfast on Sunday.

What sites do you surf for news?
The main news sites (FoxNews, CNN, etc), and then the more reliable news aggregators/blogs (Lucianne, Fark, Instapundit, etc), followed up by some of the big blogs (Michelle Malkin, RightWingNews, Powerline, etc).

What’s the first thing you read in the Strib?
You’re assuming I read it. Which is a bad assumption.

What’s on your morning drive dial?
We’re using a very loose definition of “morning” here, but mostly KQ.

When not in town, where are you?
In the vicinity of Willmar, MN partaking in some sort of vehicular fun (snowmobiling or jetskiing), hunting (deer, pheasant, etc) or relaxing (fishing, drinking, etc).

Who’s your local band/musician?
Um, probably Jabberwocky…

Where do you have season tickets?
MN Wild

What’s your apparel store(s)?
Huh?? I don’t have “apparel”. I’m straight. I’m white. I’m male. I have clothing, and that I get wherever.

Where’s your favorite “go to” place that always seems to have just the right thing?
If they have beer, they have the right thing….better known as “any bar”.

Where do you get take-out?
Chipotle

What’s your bakery?
They still exist?

Where do you mall?
Mall?? As in a verb?? You got 3 seconds before I break your kneecaps.

If we’re talking about mall, the noun. I don’t. I hate crowds, which means I hate malls. Taking me into a mall is asking for trouble….trouble worthy of being the leading story on the 10 o’clock news.

What do you drive?
Chevy Trailblazer….at least until the car companies produce something worth buying.

Where are you on a Friday night?
Lately playing broomball, followed by a couple post game drinks.

Where’s your gallery(s)?
Shooting gallery?? Up near St. Cloud.

Who cuts your hair? Where?
This is a source of some drama in my life right now. Past 5 years it was Harold, who just decided that with being diagnosed with cancer and all, he couldn’t handle the stress of having his own business. He sold it, and the new owner has turned the place into a barber/salon. I don’t go to salons. I go to a barber. Complete with pole out front. Inside should be faded woodwork, beat up chairs, an old style cash register, real barber chairs…and the constant presence of guys sitting around bitching about sports, taxes, politics, etc.

…sigh… I miss my old barber Rich he cut my hair for the first 21 years of my life. Now he’s a bit of a drive (Brooklyn Park). If I’m ever in the area, I always stop by…whether I need a cut or not.

Any suggestions??

What are you really uptight about?
Apparently my barber…

What’s your substance of choice?
What does that mean?? Are we talking illegal substances? Food? Beverage? Huh?

What subjects are you a total geek over?
I’m AM a geek….so everything.

Where do you refuel? (recharge? feed your soul?)
A gas station?? If you want serious answers, ask serious questions. Don’t give me this new age hippie crap. Next time you get a boot to the head.

What’s your date night?
It’s been awhile…

What’s the most you’ve paid for a concert ticket?
Haven’t been to one since…I dunno. Probably around $50?

When you’re at your naughtiest, you…
My lawyers have advised me to not answer this question as it will either get me arrested or yelled at.

What’s your beauty/grooming thing?
What am I? A dog?? I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?

What’s your workout? Where?
Whatever recreational activity is in season, plus walking the dog.

Who (or what’s) the service provider you can’t live without?
I could live without any of them. They’re all over-charging bastards anyway. Unless you count the bar as a service provider….which I do.

What’s your favorite night?
Any night I can’t remember…which means I had a hell of a time.

What’s the next performance you’ll attend?
Performance?? Well, after fast food my friends usually put on quite a “performance”. Does that count?

What’s an arts organization you support?
Does the NRA count?? If not too bad.

What’s your nightcap?
Traditionally, Gin&Tonic. Lately Rum&Coke

Where’s the afterparty?
Where’s the beer?

What’s your favorite restaurant for:
food?
Gastof zur Gemutlichkeit

quality?
Bucas

late night?
Taco Bell

scene?
Gastof zur Gemutlichkeit

impress your date?
Depends on the date

impress your client?
Local steakhouse

Who’s your favorite Twin Citian?
Me

Hear me now - X will be Y in 6 months. . .
Month will be July. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Of course there is also the Kool Aid Report version:

Other than the Kool Aid Report, what is your fave blog?
Mine

What is the best thing you can say about Willie Clark?
He’s not a communist?

Where do you breakfast?
I don’t breakfast. And I generally don’t eat breakfast.

Where do you dinner?
Why are we making meals into verbs. I eat dinner at home usually.

Where do you afternoon snack?
I’m warning you, no more verbs. Ummmmm, the vending machine?

Other than LearnedFoot, who is the hottest male blogger?
Votes, just came in….it’s me.

Other than Uncle Ben, who is the hottest female blogger?
Wow this question has trouble written all over it. I’ll go with Michelle Malkin and hope this doesn’t get me castrated by the MAWB Squad…or what’s left of them.

Wi-fi, cable modem or dialup?
Wi-Fi

Mitch Berg or JB Doubtless?
I’m still not convinced JB actually exists. But I can’t side with the inner-city guy either.

Why are you so damn ugly?
Studies have been inconclusive.

Where do you beer?
Where don’t I?

Arsenal or Everton?
Not entirely certain what this means, but Arsenal makes me think of guns, so I’ll go with them.

Where do you news?
You turn one more noun into a verb, and I’m gonna go knee-capping.

Why don’t you work out? (You really need to.)
The usual BS

What’s an arts organization that you’ve never heard of?
All of them.

Dude, do you, like, totally party?
Dude, like totally, dude. Gnarly.

Where is your favorite place to stand in line for a free burrito?
Mmmmmmmm, burrito. Sorry, what?

Hear me now - whenever I see someone inventing a new meme, it makes me want to X that person in the Y.
Smash that person in the knee caps.