2006 New Years Resolutions
December 27th, 2005 by 
Kevin
Well 2006 is almost upon us…which means it’s time for us to all make promises to ourselves that we’ll probably never keep. These are better known as New Years Resolutions. I thought long and hand and here is what I came with for mine.
I will stop and smell the roses, BEFORE setting them on fire (lesson learned from last year).
I will withstand the temptation to respond to a meme at least once on my blog.
Learn to tolerate children. Or at least stop being frighten by the mere presence of one.
Get more exercise (Editors Note : The definition of exercise has been loosened to include throwing things at my TV while watching a hockey game).
The pledge to quit drinking. Ok there are alot of times after a long night of debauchery that I make the promise “I’m never drinking again”. Well I’m gonna stop making that pledge, it’s just silly.
I will drive closer to the speed limit….besides, the sonic boom is starting to piss off my neighbors.
Start a cult. Seriously, it’s about time I had one.
Make the FBIs most wanted list.
Change my viewing habits so that at least 20% of the shows I watch are NOT cartoons.
I will stop simply telling people their opinion is “stupid”…instead I will show them how stupid it is.
Learn to lick my elbow.
Be on COPS
I will find my vacuum. I swear I own one…I WILL find it. I didn’t say I’ll use it, I’d just like to know where it is.
Sell off my surplus bad karma.
Finally breed an army of rabid flying wombats to use in my quest for world domination.
Wow…..2006 is gonna be a busy year.
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9 Comments »
December 27th, 2005 at 6:27 pm
I can understand all of your resolutions except the last.
We’ve already got Democrats, for Pete’s sake.
December 27th, 2005 at 6:39 pm
I have updated the post to state my intentions.
December 27th, 2005 at 7:44 pm
I thought you were going to snooker the M.A.W.B. Squad after they’d done all the heavy lifting.
December 28th, 2005 at 8:25 am
careful, you might meet a woman and no longer wish to burn them roses… it could happen… seriously, stop laughing.
December 28th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Say… how much ya want for that bad karma?
December 28th, 2005 at 7:06 pm
Excuse me? Sorry buddy. We’ve got the market cornered on world domination so back off Jack. We will however, deign to let you lick our footprints…..what? …you thought we’d let you near our shoes?
December 28th, 2005 at 11:14 pm
If you can’t get the full cult thing going, maybe just consider getting your own “posse.” Like an entourage to follow you around.
December 28th, 2005 at 11:24 pm
Harvey : How about a beer per 20 points?
Sandy : Well the MAWB Squad has been declared illegal now. I’m not worried!
Tony B : Good point. I should get my own soundtrack too!
January 2nd, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Well, I especially ‘preciate the resolution to stop making the “never drinking again” pledge. My “posse” has heard that way too often!
Can you teach the moonbats the one about proving other’s stupidity, rather than simply telling them it is their most dominant trait?