EckerNet.Com

So we’ve already been told that not only were blacks not disproportionally affected by Hurricane Katrina but now it wasn’t even the poor that were disproportionally affected.

For example, a comparison of locations where 874 bodies were recovered with U.S. Census tract data indicates that the victims weren’t disproportionately poor. Another database, compiled by Knight Ridder of 486 Katrina victims from Orleans and St. Bernard parishes, suggests they also weren’t disproportionately African-American.

Wow….so not only does Bush hate blacks and the poor but he’s also not very good at controlling the weather and killing them all. I mean seriously, what good is miraculously causing global warming in the span of five years if you can’t even control the absolutely normal bad weather.

Lack of transportation was assumed to be a key reason that many people stayed behind and died, but at many addresses where the dead were found, their cars remained in their driveways, flood-ruined symbols of fatal miscalculation.

Hmmm, so even though Bush obviously hates blacks, the poor, and anyone that isn’t a stockholder of Halliburton, it wouldn’t have mattered if a certain governor of the year and hero mayor had planned their evacuation better? Interesting….wonder why we never heard that theory previously? I guess the media was too busy reporting none-existant cannibalism and mass rioting to get around to that part.

Today the Hitler-like person who probably looks like a chimp outed Valerie Plame again!!! I’m of couse talking about her 6 year-old son.

The Washington couple at the heart of the CIA leak investigation had their cover blown by their small son as they tried to sneak away on vacation Thursday.

“My daddy’s famous, my mommy’s a secret spy,” declared the 5-year-old of his parents, former diplomat Joe Wilson and retired CIA operative Valerie Plame.

Clearly this child is endangering our entire nation and therefore I demand that child services take the kid away, impeach him and then lock him up for a couple decades or so.

Clearly her identity was still a national secret. I mean if openly working at CIA HQ for years means you are still covert then simply making your name synonomous with the CIA in every national media for several months shouldn’t make a difference.

How dare this child endanger us all. Obviously the child must own stock in Halliburton. I bet he’s even rich and white. How dare he??

Lock the kid up I say….but then I’m just a cold-hearted white richnon-poor bigoted conservative.

On this day in 1941, Rear Admiral Ben Moreell requested authority to create a Construction Battalion. This unit would later become known as “The Seabees”, and would be capable of building everything from roads to airfields to ports facilities under combat conditions. Many were taken from a construction background and trained as infantry, and frequently had to fight as infantry through WWII.

They were present at virtually every operation in WWII, including the first US offensive in the Pacific on Guadacanal and the invasion of Normandy. In those operations, their feats were hardly trivial, including the huge airfields and support facilities necessary for the operation of the B-29 Superfortress bombers from Guam, Saipan, and Tinian. Other times their projects allowed for the very survival of the infantry they accompanied.

Since World War II, they have served in every major conflict in our nations history, including Korea, Vietnam, and both Desert Shield and Desert Storm. Today they continue to serve in Iraq helping to make Iraq as livable as possible for US forces and Iraqi civilians. A good friend of mine in fact will be part of a Seabee deployment to Iraq very soon. Wish both him and his fellow Seabees the best on their anniversary.

NOTE : It has been pointed out to me that this is not the actual anniversary of the birth of the Seabees. Merely the anniversary of when authorization was approved….which if you read the actual post, is what I clearly state. My apologies to everyone that only reads the title…..which means you aren’t reading this….oh well, it’s the thought.

For the past several days I had been working on a post regarding Israel’s ability to strike Iran’s nuclear program. Basically the summary being that it wouldn’t be possible since Israel doesn’t have a sufficient aircraft available with the ability to conduct such a strike on the scale necessary to get the job done.

Here I had put in hours of research, and was in the process of writing the post. It was actually coming out pretty good, when I did one more google search on what I thought to be a trivial detail. Crap. Turns out Israel’s version of the F-16D is the Block 52 variety, which introduced the Conformal Fuel Tank (CFT), greatly increasing their range. I had thought Israel’s use of the CFT was limited to their F-16I aircraft (of which they have maybe 50 total).

Crap…that pretty much ruined my argument. Suddenly their inventory went from a series of quality aircraft with limited range, to quality aircraft with the ability to become long range with minimal effort and almost zero warning to the outside world.

As a result their ability to be able to strike Iran’s nuclear program in one single strike, while still unlikely, is at least possible. Especially if they’ve been aware of Iran’s nuclear program for a long time….which would have given them the time to retrofit older F-16s with the CFTs.

Summary of the situation, the real estate forecast of Iran is looking rather dismal.

Well 2006 is almost upon us…which means it’s time for us to all make promises to ourselves that we’ll probably never keep. These are better known as New Years Resolutions. I thought long and hand and here is what I came with for mine.

I will stop and smell the roses, BEFORE setting them on fire (lesson learned from last year).

I will withstand the temptation to respond to a meme at least once on my blog.

Learn to tolerate children. Or at least stop being frighten by the mere presence of one.

Get more exercise (Editors Note : The definition of exercise has been loosened to include throwing things at my TV while watching a hockey game).

The pledge to quit drinking. Ok there are alot of times after a long night of debauchery that I make the promise “I’m never drinking again”. Well I’m gonna stop making that pledge, it’s just silly.

I will drive closer to the speed limit….besides, the sonic boom is starting to piss off my neighbors.

Start a cult. Seriously, it’s about time I had one.

Make the FBIs most wanted list.

Change my viewing habits so that at least 20% of the shows I watch are NOT cartoons.

I will stop simply telling people their opinion is “stupid”…instead I will show them how stupid it is.

Learn to lick my elbow.

Be on COPS

I will find my vacuum. I swear I own one…I WILL find it. I didn’t say I’ll use it, I’d just like to know where it is.

Sell off my surplus bad karma.

Finally breed an army of rabid flying wombats to use in my quest for world domination.

Wow…..2006 is gonna be a busy year.

It’s starting to feel like every rock in Iraq hides a mass grave. And yet another one was found today dating back to Saddam’s rule. Wonder how long it will be before Iraqis can dig a hole without unknowinly digging up their relatives.

Of course, this discovery brings a question to my mind. How many mass graves are necessary before Democrats agree that going into Iraq was the right thing to do and staying there to get the job done right is still the right thing to do?

Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you’re even around in the holiday’s hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we’re stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.

However, lately I’ve been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that you influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I’m an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you’re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It’s completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me.
Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening’s debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You’ve been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don’t know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,
Your Biggest Fan

For My Liberal Friends:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

For My Conservative Friends:

Here’s wishing all of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year