EckerNet.Com

Well my site has been coming along pretty well. I’m in a groove if you will. I’ve been noticed by the MSM. I have managed to piss off a few people. And I’ve had fun doing it. Which means of course it’s time for me to go AWOL for awhile.

Yes, your glorious and insanely attractive author is off on a dangerous expedition into the vast expanses of rugged wilderness known as the Boundary Waters Canoe Area.

Yes I will be braving the elements and the complete lack of pubs in that uncharted land. But do not fear, I will be support by a cast of 5 other misfits….at least one of which could be called marginally responsible.

Seeing as I have misplaced my 200 mile long network cable, blogging will be “light” until I return. However, in my travels I will make sure to ask every furry creature I spot if I could borrow their laptop for a wee bit.

Otherwise I expect to return on Monday sometime. If not, please send a search party to the vicinity of Lake Isabella….and tell them to bring beer, I’ll be thirsty.

P.S. Feel free to entertain yourself in the comment section below.

I have what you call a squirrel problem in my backyard. There are about 20 of them living back there. I let them live because frankly my dog loves to chase them.

However, if I ever see this…..I’m moving.

Apparently Howard Dean has decided to follow Schumer’s example by just making up whatever fallacy he wants in order to score political points:

[Dean] also said the president was partly responsible for a recent Supreme Court decision involving eminent domain.

“The president and his right-wing Supreme Court think it is ‘okay’ to have the government take your house if they feel like putting a hotel where your house is,” Dean said, not mentioning that until he nominated John Roberts to the Supreme Court this week, Bush had not appointed anyone to the high court.

Dean’s reference to the “right-wing” court was also erroneous. The four justices who dissented in the Kelo vs. New London case included the three most conservative members of the court - Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas. Justice Sandra Day O’Connor was the fourth dissenter.

The court’s liberal coalition of Justices John Paul Stevens, David Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer combined with Justice Anthony Kennedy to form the majority opinion, allowing the city of New London, Conn., to use eminent domain to seize private properties for commercial development.

Ok Mr. Dean, not sure if your pants are too tight but something has forced the blood from your brain. Perhaps the reason you get criticized for your comments is that more often than not they are factually wrong. Not just ideologically leftwrong, over which I can expect two reasonable people to disagree.

In the face of this glaring inaccuracy I put my crack research staff on what other bizarre statements we can expect the head of the “reality-based community” to utter:

• I served in Vietnam….just so you know.
• Republicans want to sell your children into bondage where they will forced to assemble robotic warriors that Bush will use to finally establish the theocracy he's wanted for so long.
• Bush plans to start a draft…really!! We promise it's true this time!!!
• Karl Rove was the gunman on the grassy knoll'''.and the one in the book depository building.
• Cheney is actually King George III, who has achieved immortality and along with Michael Jackson has pioneered new fields in plastic surgery to discuss his appearance.
• Speaking of Vietnam….
• Haliburton is actually a cooperative venture between the Zionist Conspiracy and alien beings from Alpha Centauri
• The Di Vinci code story of a royal bloodline descended from Jesus Christ is real….and Howard Dean is the sole surviving member of that bloodline.
• Pearl Harbor was all a BushCo conspiracy so that Chimpy McBushHitler could buy up Hawaiian beachfront property for cheap. 
• When I spent Christmas in Cambodia, …..
• Viagra spam is a BushCo conspiracy to replace the soldiers that he killed due to his illegal war on peaceful utopian "terrorists"
• Two plus two really equals 6
• The Bush tax cuts gives “those of evil spirit” a 90% reduction in taxes rates….so it really was tax cuts for the rich!!
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Did I mention Vietnam yet??
• If you forward a copy of my speech to 10 people, you'll have good luck.
• Condelezza Rice isn’t really black….she’s a vampire, which I think is bad.
• The reason Cheney is always in an undisclosed location is because he can't breath our atmosphere, since he’d choke on the sweet air of freedom.
• Judge Roberts is a dumb dumb poopy head and as a result is clearly overqualified for the position of Supreme Court Justice. 

You heard it here first at EckerNet.Com, more accurate than the MSM.

Which Results In More Traffic??

We present another informational and completely time-wasting EckerNet study. Due to a flood of public demand we thought we’d find out which is more effective in bringing in traffic to a blog….the blogosphere, or the MSM.

First, we’ll introduce our test subjects….Residual Forces and your magnificent host, EckerNet.Com.

For scientific purposes, we’ll keep the following variables constant:
Topic : Jane Fonda starting her anti-war tour
Time : Just before 11 am, on Monday, July 25th

Each site makes the relevant posts, see Test Subject A and Test Subject B.

Our control variable is method of exposure:
Residual Forces : Will receive a link via AOL Blogs/News and other blogs.
EckerNet : Will receive a plug on MSNBC via Connected Coast to Coast

We will measure the increase in traffic to that site:
Residual Forces : Uber increase in traffic…on the order of a thirteen fold increase in traffic.
EckerNet : Little to no noticeable effect. Any increased traffic is lost in the usual “Just got home from work but dinner isn’t quite ready, so let’s see what’s on EckerNet” traffic.

Clearly, we can scientifically conclude that the blogosphere is clearly more effective than the MSM….and it’s lower in fat. Truly an enlightening discovery.

Yet, more research is definitely warranted. So I propose the following:
1) EckerNet.Com immediatly receives a multi-million dollar grant from the Federal Government to study this phenomena
2) Every blog in existance links to me….for testing purposes only of course.
3) The MSM realizing the threat my study poses should immediatly begin forging nasty memos regarding my time in the Boy Scouts.

A reader emailed me to let me know that my site was on MSNBC Connected Coast to Coast yesterday afternoon around 4:30 PM, apparently in reference to my post regarding Jane Fonda.

Obviously I completely missed it. I’m a bit curious about what was said. So anyone that saw it or has more information, please leave a comment and/or email me via the link to the left.

On reflection, I rather suspect they took my sarcastic satire as serious.

UPDATE: Confirmed. Site was specifically mentioned and I guess they showed the page as well. Basically used me as a counterpoint since I said the anti-war movement was fizziling out. I’m sure it was a very “fair” counter-point.

Apparently my site even was choking for a little while due to traffic. Which is funny because I didn’t notice an abnormal rise in traffic that day. So either my web server sucks or else sitemeter doesn’t do a very good job of tracking traffic. Both are equally likely.

EckerNet has made it’s national television debut. There goes my 15-minutes…it’s all downhill from here.

Congrats to Chad the Elder on the new addition to the Fraters franchise.

Hopefully, the child looks like his mother.

According to my sources, on Wednesday the Minnesota Wild will announce that they are keeping them same ticket prices for the 2005-2006 NHL season. This crushes any hope that due to the cancellation of last season, they would reduce prices to win back fans….as the Phoenix Coyotes have already announced they will do.

Disappointing to say the least. Although, I can’t say I’m surprised. With roughly 98% of their season ticket holders returning, and a waiting list of several thousand, they obviously aren’t struggling to sell tickets.

So why reduce prices?? Public Relations. Which has always been a strongpoint for the Wild. I figured the attraction of having the local press run stories on how they are reducing prices even though all their fans are already coming back, would be enough to entice the Wild to follow what many of the other teams are going to have to do.

But those hopes were crushed, when I learned they would infact keep the same prices as the 2003-2004 season.

Oh well, hopefully, instead of charging us less money, they just provide us an even better product.

In honor of the hockey season starting and because I love cool jets, I thought we’d ponder the age old question. In a fight who would win, a zamboni or the brand-new totally kick-ass F-22 Raptor fighter?? To help answer this question, I offer you the following totally scientific comparison (click for a larger popup):