EckerNet.Com

Via Reuters:

The Pentagon said on Thursday it was preparing for the possibility that North Korea had decided to abandon six-party nuclear talks and a top official said diplomacy with Pyongyang would soon have to produce results.

[…]

Hill and other officials have repeatedly said the administration would consider “other options,” including military options, if the talks collapsed or if Pyongyang tested a nuclear weapon.

This announcement carries special meaning coming on the tail of the deployment of stealth aircraft to South Korea.

This would tend to support the possibility that the deployment was either to pressure North Korea into returning to the table or else making it clear that the US will not allow a nuclear test to occur.

The North Koreans are well known for talking tough and making bold claims shortly before beginning negotiations. And with North Korean rhetoric being rather hostile lately this is more likely simply a move to push the North back to the tables. A high stakes game of diplomacy using high-tech billion dollar equipment as pawns.

A man was walking down the road past a farmhouse, carrying a goose under one arm and rabbit under the other, balancing a basket with some squash on his head. He spotted a girl hoeing in the garden and ask her, ” How much farther is it to the county fair?” “Well,” she said, “Its about three miles around by the road, but there’s a path across the fields that would save you over a mile. I could show you, but I’m afraid that you’d molest me.” “As you can see, I’ve got a goose in one hand and a rabbit in the other, plus the basket to balance, how could I possibly molest you?” “Well,” she said,

“You could dump out the squash and put the rabbit down with the basket over it, weight it down with a couple squash, and I could hold the goose.”

[Hat Tip : Drunk Guy]

One day God was looking down on Earth and saw all of the mischievous behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95 percent are
misbehaving and 5 percent are being good.”

God thought for a moment.

“Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.” So God
called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, “Yes, it’s true. The Earth is in decline; 95 percent are misbehaving and 5 percent are being good.”

God was not pleased.

So He decided to E-mail the 5 percent that were good, and tell them how proud He was of their good behavior and efforts.

Do you know what that E-mail said?

No?

I didn’t get one either.

Wow, I leave for a 4-day camping trip and suddenly people are wondering what happened. All sorts of rumors start and spread. And now I’m left with the result. So I would like to take this time to address those rumors if I may (and I may). For the written record, I would like to alert everyone that the following are absolutely FALSE:

• EckerNet HQ was bombed by stealth bombers
• I died of a severe gastrointestianal disorder
• I am member of a synchronized bagel-eating troupe
• I was called as a surprise witness in the Michael Jackson trial
• I am member of a communist dish-washing organization
• I was called as a stunt double for any of the following:         

• Harrison Ford         

• Brad Pitt         

• Tyra Banks         

• Ron Jeremy

Sorry to disappoint you all, but I had to set the record(s) straight. I’ve simply returned from a successful camping trip. Excessive quantities of beer were consumed. World problems were solved and then forgetten by the next beer. Many horseshoes were thrown. Countless dick and fart jokes were told. Substandard food was ate. EckerNet will now return to it’s normally scheduled blogginess.

Time to take on my role as an “Air Chair General”….

STEALTHS DEPLOYING TO KOREA: U.S. F-117A stealth fighters are being deployed this week on a temporary training mission in South Korea amid the nuclear standoff, military officials said yesterday. Fifteen aircraft, which can penetrate defenses with virtual impunity, and 250 airmen from the 49th Fighter Wing are leaving Holloman AFB later this week for South Korea. Deployment of the Nighthawks comes amid increasing tension over North Korea’s nuclear weapons development project. There have been persistant speculation that Pyongyang might be preparing for a nuclear test, which North Korea denies. The U.S. military in Korea rejected a link between the deployment and the current situation. (Korea Herald)

Considering the current situation, this will almost certainly raise eyebrows around the world. Even if there were longstanding plans to conduct this training, it is certainly within the power of the DoD to delay this move (or move it elsewhere) until things calm down.

The fact that it continues means that, at least on a diplomatic level, this carries great importance. And since Bush has hardly been one to bluff his way through relations, one can only assume he carries a good hand. I see a number of possible scenarios here.

The most obviously being that pressure is being brought to bear. Kim Jong Il is almost synonymous with paranoia, especially regarding a US attack on North Korea. Stealth fighters aren’t exactly pawns in the game of military incursions. This is sure to make more than a few air defense officials change their pants in Pyongyang. The message would be that North Korea should return to the table or else. This seems a rather unlikely move for the US though, especially considering our current engagement in both Iraq and Afghanistan. In a years time though it may be an option, and it does take time to position forces. It’s not out of the question, just unlikely.

Another situation that would make sense is that this move is a response to something. Perhaps unknown to us civilians. Like I said these aircraft aren’t exactly pawns. They are powerful, expensive and only a few years ago tore the shit out of one of the heaviest air defense systems in modern warfare. Perhaps US intelligence indicates Kimmy is planning some sort of hostile move. A group of Stealth Fighters nearby would certain make even President Poofy Hair think twice.

Or perhaps a surgical strike is in the works? There were concerns that North Korea was planning a full-blown nuclear test. Conducting a single strike to prevent that from happening is certainly an option that isn’t exactly unheard of. However, North Korea would almost certainly take that as an act of war (which it probably is) and respond accordingly. So it seems a bit risky to strike but not be ready to follow through…not exactly our style.

In the end these are all just guesses. And even though “I know stuff” I don’t have all the facts. But I know enough to know that the movement of a group of F-117s isn’t exactly a minor move….even if it is “temporary”.

Schools who receive federal funds have been ordered to observe Constitution Day.

The Education Department outlined Tuesday how it plans to enforce a little-known provision that Congress passed in 2004: Every school and college that receives federal money must teach about the Constitution on Sept. 17, the day the document was adopted in 1787.

At first one could interpret this as a ray of hope for our country. But as one of my readers emaled me:

thought I would pass this along - I wonder how long it will be before the liberals destroy this one too? Watch for them turn it into a diversity event.

I’m afraid he’s far too right in his interpretation. If you read the regulation itself, to call it vague and open to interpretation would be generous.

Basically it just repeatedly states:

[e]ach educational institution that receives Federal funds for a fiscal year shall hold an educational program on the United States Constitution on September 17 of such year for the students served by the educational institution.

Nowhere does it state anywhere what type of educational material. My guess it that in the Berkleys of the world, they’ll be teaching how the Founding Father were evil rich white gun-owning slave owners.

And we’ll hear about how the Constitution guarantees us the right to an abortion or whatever the lefty agenda is for that week.

We’ll be taught the shortcomings of the Constitution and how it’s a “living document”.

We’ll be taught how “the people” in the Second Amendment refers to the states even though every other reference to “the people” means individuals.

I give it two years before Constitution Day is turned into a mockery by the left.

Well the morning before the big MOB gathering in St. Cloud, a few buddies of mine and I rounded up our weapons and headed off to the shooting range.

Personally, I had to break in my brand new Savage Model 12 .223 rifle. And then sight in my Leopold Mark II scope. My friends had similar projects to get done which occupied most of our time.

But the highlight of the day was taking on Jesse Ventura….or rather his bobble head.

That’s right, we decided to test our shooting prowness by blasting the crap out of Jesse using our various weaponry.

[Files are roughly 2 MB each]

Here is my friend The Extremist taking on Jesse the Mind using his .223 rifle and reducing him to Jesse the Body.

Here is Seabee convincing Jesse the Body to take a step back with his 22-250.

And then I decided to reduce Jesse the Body to sawdust using my .223 rifle.

Jesse the Debris Pile stated that he had no comment on the day’s events.

Credits for the excellent camera/editing work go to Drunk Guy.

Friendship among women:
A woman doesn’t come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friends’ house. The man calls his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them know about it.

Friendship among men:
A man doesn’t come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friends’ house. The woman calls her husbands’ 10 best friends. 8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he’s still there.

[Hat Tip : Dave Loberg]

Ok so if you can watch/listen to this without laughing your ass off and/or not have it stuck in your head all day, you are a better man than I.

Mahna Manah

Taking a cue from the draft we were supposed to have, Kerry still has not signed his SF-180 forms.

Or maybe he did….before he didn’t….or something.

”I have signed it,” Kerry said. Then, he added that his staff was ‘’still going through it” and ”very, very shortly, you will have a chance to see it.”

Anyone believe that?

ECKERNET EXCLUSIVE : My Rove planted sources deep in the bowels of the Democratic party tell me the next excuse Kerry plans to use is:

“My dog ate my Form 180 while I was in Vietnam”

Stay tuned for more news.