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An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog in the yard always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman came and climbed a nearby pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house. The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and then the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, he found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire via a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.

4 . After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Welcome to all of you who found their way over from IMAO…..all 200 of you (so far).

Feel free to poke around, most of my doors are unlocked. Grab a beer from the fridge. Just toss the newspapers off the couch there and have a seat.

You’ve caught me a bit unprepared. You see I wasn’t expecting visitors today. Hopefully I can compensate for that soon.

In the meantime, enjoy yourselves

Oh and many thanks to the lovely SarahK for linking me.

Harvey comments on my personals ad…..apparently I’m seeking his beloved wife.

Good to know.

Harvey, don’t you have a minefield to cross or something?

You’ve asked for it…..no you haven’t, but you would.

You’ve demanded it….as long as we are pretending you asked, what’s a little more?

So I’m here to offer it. That’s right…the Calvin and Hobbies archives for 1985 to 1995.

I now sentence you to spend the rest of the day reading cartoons and giggling uncontrollably.

(more…)

Reading this has now become the most (physically) painful thing I have ever done.

Read only if of strong heart and heroic resilence.

Today is the 25th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice.  As a big hockey fan I celebrate that game. As an American, I celebrate that day. I wasn’t old enough to remember the day, but I still celebrate the story. I celebrate the the young men who, for one night, made the entire nation feel good about being an American. Today, we celebrate much. The boys who dared to try the impossible. Lead by a man who dared to dream the impossible. And the nation that dared to lift it’s head up on that day and find that, despite what they thought, they were great. That night is the reason many were proud to be American. That night was a great game of hockey. R.I.P. Herb Brooks 1937 - 2003

Harvey at Bad Example had a pretty good post about how to write in your blogs.

Basically it comes down to: Write naturally. Use emphasis. Calm down. And something about Emoticons.

This is probably my best and worst attribute.

In fact, I get in trouble at work occasionally for this. I’ve been repeatedly told I type exactly how I talk. …well, minus the heavy Minnesotan accent…and I’ve been told that lately I’ve upgraded that to a CANADIAN accent….Sweet Lord tell me it ain’t so!!

But I digress….umm. Right…so I write exactly as I speak. On blogs? Gooooood. Anywhere else?? Baaaaaad.

For example, you write an email to a co-worker with a sarcastic comment in it.

Email from Co-worker:
Kevin, can you review this packet to verify I made the changes you mentioned in our last meeting?

Reply from Me:
Well did you?

Now in person, it works. Via email, the co-worker just thinks I’m being a complete prick.

So it’s a dangerous habit sometimes. I really do have to watch it at work.

On the other hand, it is kinda cool. I’ve been told by some friends that I chat with via online messaging that they can tell what type of mood I’m in just by the number of “…”’s I use. I have yet to determine what the Rosetta stone for that is.

Now on the other hand, typing like I talk makes my posts…well, not good. I never plan things out before I say them. I speak exactly what’s on my mind. And say it as soon as I think it.

Which makes writing really eloquent and well-versed posts damn near impossible.

So instead you get….well, this. This post about….oh, hell, what was I writing about?