EckerNet.Com

I…am an American. And Canada has always puzzled me.

Why are they there? Why do they still exist? Why are they still up there in that cold, frozen land calling themselves Canadians? After all these years, WHY have we not driven north and simply made them what they really are: Americans. Albeit, stupid ones, but Americans nonetheless.

Seriously. What is their purpose? They serve no express purpose that anyone can surmise. They aren\’t major players in world affairs. Their military consists of 2 biped planes, a life raft, and a Vespa motor scooter. I mean…if they were to suddenly be…*ahem*…\”consolidated\”…would anyone REALLY notice?

I know, I know. They have contributed in a FEW ways. Take WW2. Normandy. D-Day invasion. Canada was there, helping all the way. Hey, and don\’t think we Americans and Brits didn\’t appreciate those sandwiches! But…c\’mon guys, don\’t you think this whole Maple Leaf/Montreal Expos thing has just about gone far enough? I mean…no ones laughing anymore.

And don\’t think we\’ll just leave you guys that don\’t like the idea out in the cold. See, we\’ve handled this kind of thing before. We have this neat little concept called a \”reservation\”. I know it\’s not always perfect there, but…the natives around here sure seem to like it!

Just think about it. No more worrying that Ethiopia will fire up that one left-over plane from WW2 and come storming in to Newfoundland. No more feeling left out because no one really gives flying fuck about anything remotely related to the Maple Leafs or their \”stellar\” season. You guys can root for the Kings! Wouldn\’t that be great?!?!

Anyway, mull it over, talk amongst yourselves, decide. And when you\’re done, we\’ll do whatever the hell we want to anyway.