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Ok so I haven\’t written a rant for awhile. It\’s been a rather hectic couple months. In the past few months I\’ve started a business, started going back to school for my Masters and my Grandfather passed away. But those are subjects for other rants.

Today as you all certainly know is 9/11. The one year anniversary of a rather big event. Exactly one year ago today a bunch of fanatical assholes took the controls of 4 airplanes and murdered 3000+ men, women and children in cold blood. The victims weren\’t soldiers and most didn\’t even work for the government. They were ordinary people like the rest of us. With families and loved ones like the rest of us. Living out their daily lives like the rest of us. But there is one thing that separated us from them. On that fateful day, their lives were taken from them without cause or reason.

Late last nite I was out with some business associates. Someone pointed out that it was after midnight and it was now 9/11. What a morbid thought. I realized until that point I had been innocently living out my life. Suddenly it occurred to me how easily our lives could end at a moments notice at the hands of a mad-man. I thought of all the people who were comfortably sleeping at that point. I wondered how many of them went to sleep with the thought that this could be their last nite on earth.

I also could help but think about a conversation I had with my father earlier in the day. He called to inform that he\’d be flying to Chicago that day and then flying back the afternoon of 9/11. What bothered me is he never really tells me if he\’s traveling, unless it\’s part of another conversation and then only casually. However, in this conversation, he called me specifically to let me know he\’d be flying on the anniversary of 9/11. The message that brought with it worried me.

I laid in bed later last nite. I couldn\’t help but think, will I wake up to chaos and destruction as I did a year ago? What will the dawn of a new day bring and am I ready for it?

I woke groggily, the result of having gotten to sleep far too late. I knew that at work we would be having Memorial services and moments of silence periodically. I woke up and realized I didn\’t want to go. It\’s been a year, but it seems like only a month. I realized the last thing I want to do was have to possibly relive those memories surrounded by others. I stayed home and watched the official Memorial services on television.

I\’ve never been one to seek out others while in mourning. I prefer to be…alone…both physically and mentally. It makes me uncomfortable to watch others suffer and have them see me suffer. Being allowed to sit quietly and silently on my own is my idea. So alone I watched as the President honored the victims and encouraged the survivors to fit on. I was fairly unmoved.

I finally left my place and started driving to work. Everywhere I looked, American flags were flying. Flying at half-mast. Already rampant patriotism was especially high today. Normally the sight of the flag at least is a comforting image.

Instead of going to my desk at the office I drove straight out to our lab out at the airport. There would be less distractions there, I figured I\’d be able to get more done. And secretly I hoped to watch my fathers plane come in on radar and then see it safely land.

Once out at the airport, I tried to keep working. In the back of my mind I couldn\’t help but remember it was 9/11. Eventually I ended up going out side and stood there watching the activity around the airport. I watched one plane leave it\’s gate, and taxi toward me. Eventually it taxied past me. Through the windows I could see people in it\’s seats, so already engrossed in a paper or book. Others starring out the window. Others otherwise engaged. It taxied past me out to the runway. There it sat revving up it\’s engines before beginning to slowly roll forward. I watched as it slowly picked up speed and took off to some unknown destination.

I stood there in wonder as it hit me. Here it was. All these people, no doubt knew what today was. They knew what it meant. Yet they still got on that plane. To hell with some dumb fuck with a towel around his head half a world away. To hell with some unknown hypocrite who feels it\’s his destiny to kill innocent people. To hell with what the media says. To hell with all that. Despite everything these ordinary people left their families, and continued to live out there lives by getting on that plane and flying off.

Yup, that about summed it up for me. I shoke my head, smiled, went back inside and got alot of work done.