EckerNet.Com

Ok folks, sorry I haven’t ranted in awhile but I got sent out of town on business. I traveled to New Jersey…yes I traveled there intentionally. And fortunately my luggage traveled to the same location, which is different from the last time I traveled. Last I heard my luggage was floating around Kansas City somewhere. I hope it’s having fun, and actually I’m a bit jealous since I’ve never been to Kansas City.

At some point the USA soccer team was playing in some big competition or something. Apparently something like 1 billion people were supposed to be watching the games…or if you counted Americans, 1 billion and four. At some point I made a statement. It was while I was in a bar. It was while I was drinking. It was also one of the few statements I’ve made when drinking that I’ll stand by when sober. I said “Soccer isn’t a real sport”. Of course at this point I was told to justify this statement. In my attempts I also stated that Golf is not a sport.

Having irritated half the room I came up with the following criteria for being considered a sport.

You must use your hands
You absolutely must use your hands. This could be to hold the tool with which the game is played or to actually perform a play in the game. For example, using a hockey stick or baseball bat is considered using your hands. However, using your hands to wave to fans doesn’t count, using your hands to make obscene gestures doesn’t either.

You must break a sweat
A sport is an activity that requires effort. Simply standing around or
barely moving doesn’t count. It requires hard work and above average effort to get done. That doesn’t imply that one must constantly be sweating. You could sweat during brief moment of exciting action such as stealing a base in baseball. Sweating because of the heat and/or sun doesn’t count.

It must involve teams
Sports involve teamwork. Hence a team is required. Two people are not a team. Team work must be part of the game, hence strategy should be involved. A Coach should be an integral part of the game as part of the whole team concept.

Physical contact with the other team during play is required
Sports should be a competition of both skill and physical conditioning. Part of the original point of sports was to demonstrate the abilities of the human body. As such physical competition is required to show dominance or superior abilities over ones opponent. This can be anything from two opposing linemen trying to overpower each other on the line of scrimmage, to two ball players racing for the same base.

Must involve a ball, or object of some sort
Without a ball or object of some sort all your doing is showing your ability in a specific area such as sprinting. By introducing a ball not only is speed and agility important, but also concentration and quick thinking in order to maneuver an object that is not inherently part of your body and is subject to it’s own motion.

Defined uniforms for each team
This should be self-explanatory. If I have to explain, please leave my site.

Requires a referee or official of some type
Sports are a game of competition and are governed by a set of rules. Therefore a unbiased party is required to enforce those rules.

Involves skill as well as luck
Part of sports is the idea that both teams have a sporting chance. One may definitely be favored over another or more likely to win, but an upset must be possible. Therefore game play must allow for luck to change the game play such as an unlucky bounce of the ball, or a football being fumbled at just the right moment to allow an interception.

If your favorite “sport” doesn’t include all of the above, it’s not a sport. Deal with it. If it makes you feel better go watch ballet or something.