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Ok I intended to write this rant awhile ago but just got around to it now. Remember Richard Reid? For those of you that have forgotten, he was that guy that tried to light a bomb in his shoe while on an airplane. He’s also the guy that has spent the last months making a mockery of our court system.

Here’s a recent example. Recently his lawyers have asked that charge 9 against him be dropped. Change 9 is “attempted wrecking of a mass transportation vehicle”. Ok, odd, since that is exactly what he did, but I’m willing to hear their reasoning. Here it is, their reasoning is that an airplane is not a “vehicle” and it also does not qualify as “mass transportation”.

What?!?!? Are these guys smoking crack?? Ok I understand it’s their job to get their client off the hook and they are probably very well paid. However, I don’t care how much I was paid, I would not have the balls to get up and make those claims in a court room so it can be recorded for all to see.

How is an airplane not mass transportation?? If a bus, which carries 50 people is mass transportation, how is an airplane which carries over 200 not mass transportation? An airplane transports massive numbers of people. I would have to think it therefore qualifies as mass transportation.

Even more puzzling is how an airplane is not a vehicle. It has an engine that it uses to move. It even has wheels. It moves people and cargo under its own power. I looked up the definition of airplane and got the following:
“Any of various winged vehicles capable of flight, generally heavier than air and driven by jet engines or propellers.”

I can come up with no explanation for this except that lawyers and probably the whole profession is a completely hopeless. If this argument takes more than 20 seconds to resolve I’ll have to write off the whole profession entirely.

If this case was up to me, Richard Reid would already be dead, and buried. There would be no Middle East crisis because we would have turned the entire desert into glass. We’d just all be sitting around waiting for the nuclear fallout to settle before we go back in and get more oil.