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Them: “Damn it’s cold out there…”

Me: “huh??? well …. ya…it’s February…”

Them: “Ya but it’s still too cold for me”

Me: “You realize you live in Minnesota right? You realize just north of us is Canada?? You were vaguely aware this is a cold weather state correct???”

Them: “Well yes, but it’s still colder than I’d like”

Me: “Well I’d love a brand new Porsche for each day of the week but you don’t hear me bitching do you?”

Them: “Well you don’t need to be mean about it”

Me: “You realize it’s the warmest winter we’ve had in years right? Now it drops in the mere vicinity of the freezing temp and you complain?? Are you tropical or retarded???”

Them (whining): “But it’s still cold out there!”

Me: “DEAL WITH IT!!!!”

The above is a brief summary of a conversation I’ve had a lot this winter. For those of you that don’t know, I live in Minnesota…yes on purpose. It’s normally very cold. An entire week below zero Fahrenheit is not supposed to be uncommon. However, lately we’ve had a string of very mild winters. Due to this, the entire state seems to have forgotten that it gets cold here.

This winter it’s felt more like Fall, I even started wearing short sleeve shirts. I had the windows on my truck down on the way to work one day this winter. I think I’ve used the heater in my home twice this winter. Basically my point is it’s been warm…especially by Minnesotan standards.

Now this is Minnesota, even without a geography or meteorology degree the average person should be able to determine that it is likely to be cold here. Also many Minnesotans stay here their entire lives. Your born here, raised here and live here full-time. You should be used to it by now. So now it gets cold one day and the whole state is bitching. What the hell?

This seems to fall in the common sense area. If your not used to the cold or for some reason can’t tolerate it WHY ARE YOU HERE?!!? I can’t make that point enough. Why would you voluntarily live in a place that doesn’t agree with you? Why would you not move somewhere that’s more comfortable to you?

Now I could understand if you lived in Minnesota for years, only to have your house flattened by a earthquake and then have the rubble blown away by a Hurricane. You would have a right to complain and bitch till the end of the earth then. Because you live in a place where those things don’t happen and you probably like it like that.

However, I’d like to alert everyone to a few facts about Minnesota. It gets cold here. We can’t control the weather. It gets cold here. It will probably snow….A LOT. It gets cold here. We like to fish. It gets cold here. We like hockey. It gets cold here. Hot dish is a common food. It gets cold here. Do you see a pattern??

Good! Because I don’t want to hear anymore complaints about the cold. It’s not cold, it’s normal. Your not voicing any profound thought, it’s normal. You live in a cold state, deal with it or move! Don’t complain about the insanely obvious. Don’t complain about what you should be used to.

You know what? … Just to be safe, nobody but me is allowed to complain…about anything!